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Monday, March 22, 2010

Vetta say's "I Told You So!"

So I am a member of THE best sorority in the world (proven fact that it's the BIGGEST, BOLDEST :) ).  It just so happens that I was able to go through the process of joining this organization with a couple of friends of mine. of my frienisters (friend & sister) has been threatening to secretly complete a profile on a dating site for me.  When she first said it I was like NO!  I felt like dating sites were for desperate losers.  I mean, who really tries to meet someone online?  I guess I watch too much CSI and Without A Trace because I was also pretty paranoid.  Like I would set up a profile then all of a sudden have a cyber stalker who turns into a real-life stalker and long story short, I end up going all J-Lo in Enough on his monkey tail. But anyway...after reading what I call the Black Woman's Monthly Bible, I saw an article about trying a new way of dating if your current method isn't really working out for you.  So, since it's in this magazine that I think is the best thing since sliced bread then it must be okay, right?  I go to the website that they listed as the best but it's just my luck that my city isn't currently being serviced.  But the bright side is that they list a couple of other reputable sites to try out. 

So one day I actually get up the nerve to create a profile.  I browse through the people they have recommended for me.  When I first start to scroll down the page I'm like " this who I should be dating?" Those 10 cats and that rocking chair on the porch is looking preeeetty good to me right about now.  Then I look at the left hand bar of the screen and I see that I have a message in my inbox.  That was fast!  So I check out the vitals on his profile...picture - cute (forehead a little big, but beggars can't be all that picky), age - within the 25-30 range, grammar - had to check the technology dictionary for the definition of "nu" and "wez" (won't be expecting a 4-page letter from him), height - 5'10 (ehhh...).  Now, in the back of my mind I was thinking that I needed to delete him, but I told Vetta (my intuition, not to be confused with Gretta my inner fat girl who likes to come out and play from time to time) to just hush and let me see what happens.

I wait a day to respond to the message (I don't want to seem too eager...but I do have to keep in mind that I am on an online dating site [insert self-judgement here]).  I finally respond and he asks me for my number.  I'm a little hesitant but I rationalize giving him my number by thinking about how well I know a guy who approaches me at a restaurant, the mall, or any other public place.  Again I shush Vetta and give up the 10 (digits).  Cyber So-So (not quite a hottie but he's not a dog either) and I have an interesting chat. I find out that in lieu of college he decided to go into the armed forces (can't knock it...i likes my freedom) and that he seems to be an individual that I don't mind sharing my time with.  We make a meeting date to meet up at a well-lit, safe, public venue with PLENTY of security. The night of the meeting comes and when I get there I park close to the entrance (can't be too sure...crazies come in all colors, sizes, shapes, etc.) and go in.  I get there early so I can position myself to see him before he sees me, that way I can make a mad dash to the door if I need to.  I'm lying...I really wanted to get there early so that I could play a few games before he arrived lol.  He comes through to the Midway and he is ALMOST like his profile. He's a little shorter than he noted and his forehead isn't as big as I thought...his nose is but again, beggars can not be all that picky.  So that meeting comes & goes and it's cool.  He calls a couple of days later and we make an official date.  (Note: I really didn't consider that a date but more like a meeting...bceause it was the first face-to-face interaction, plus I didn't drink or eat.  We just sat and talked)

The actual date comes around and he decides that he wants to go to a nice restaurant.  I arrive on time.  5 minutes pass...10 minutes...15 minutes...still no signs of CSS (Cyber So-So).  I finally call to see what's up and guess what?  Yep, he forgot what time we were supposed to meet up.  Now, I didn't just waste a hour trying to put together a perfectly prepared outfit so I sit there and finally after about 25 minutes CSS shows up.  We talk and I'm thinking that maybe the internet wasn't a bad place to explore after all.  Well...end of the meal comes and the waiter brings the check.  CSS opens the bill, looks at it, closes the bill, then sets it on the table.  I'm thinking that maybe he doesn't want the night to end so he's not ready to pay. Then excuses himself to go to the restroom.  Now, I've watched enough dating shows to know to watch people.  So I'm watching JUST to make sure that he doesn't have the audacity to leave and skip out on the check.  (one reason I always sit facing the me overly-skeptical but I call it extreme caution) So anyway, CSS comes back to the table, opens the bill again (like the amount changed), closes it again and starts to look in his wallet.  I'm thinking to myself  "What the hell...not again, please not again!"  Well he pulls out his bankcard and pays.  [insert sigh of relief here]  Well when the waiter comes back, CSS looks at me and is like "You got the tip?" under his breath.  I'm looking a little puzzled, then I reply "Come again?"(I must admit that I'm a little irritated and I did say that with a slight attitude)  At this point he decides to put a little bass in his voice and increase his volume "Do you have the tip?"

Side Bar:  Now...I do not mind paying for a meal or chipping in with the tip IF the activity was my idea, IF we have been dating a while, or IF we are just cool like that.  BUT if YOU asked ME out, then it is expected that you cover the costs...ALL of them.  And I also expect for you to check the online menu for the establishment so that you know what type of costs you should be expecting to hit your account after you submit payment or pick another place.  So in this case, I was definitely disgusted and offended but I handled it.

I hand over something for tip, say goodbye, and get up to leave (why waste anymore of my time?).  Needless to say his calls and texts went unanswered and I have yet to revisit the site again.  While I was driving home, all I could hear was Vetta saying "I told you so!".

So what do you think...was this too harsh of a response?


  1. Harsh???
    NO!!!!!! Didn't he suggest the restaurant in the first place? Then he should know about how much the bill should be. I don't think you should let him spoil your on-line experience though.
    On to the next one.........

  2. Not at all my dear (I can't believe that guy-seriously???)...onward march!!! (To the great man you're going to meet and eventually call husband :) )