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Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Potential and Possibilities...

I know that I've been pretty MIA, but life has been super busy.  This hasn't stopped my dating life, but it's hard to stop myself and make myself chronicle this journey.  Life still hasn't slowed down, but I have so many updates, stories, and experiences that my mind is about to bust!  Let's start with an update on the Rick Chronicles.

I believe that the last thing that I blogged about was Rick approaching me again and that things were going better.  Well I can sum this post up pretty quickly...Rick is outta there! For about a month or so Rick and I were communicating pretty regularly.  Now, the only time that I'd really see Rick was when we passed each other in the tunnel or on the rare occasion that he'd ask me to lunch.  He did attend an event that I was planning, but we still hadn't been on an actual date.  Personally, I didnt think that this was normal (or ok), but my love guru friend told me to chill out and just ride the wave. Well I tried not to overthink things too much but it got to a point where I really felt like I was wasting my time.

One day I saw Rick in the tunnel and motioned for him to come by my table so that I could deliver the news that it just wasn't going to work out.  (Side Bar: After speaking with some friends about the situation, they thought that it wasn't necessary for me to have that conversation, but I like to be on the same page with ppl.  I try to extend the same courtesy to others as I would like for them to extend to me.). He came by the table and looked pretty hurt when I delivered the news that I would rather that we just be friends.  A few days later we ended up having a conversation about everything and we started communicating again.  Fast Forward to later in the month.  Rick asked me to lunch and while he walked me back to my office, we were talking about a retreat that I was attending that weekend.  That night, Rick and I were supposed to hang out after work.  I went by my cousin's house to hang out with her and her new baby and it started to get late.  I called Rick to see what was going on and he didn't answer.  I waited at my cousin's home a little bit longer and I still hadn't heard anything from him.  When I'd finally decided to leave her house and head home, Rick calls and gives me some lame excuse about how he'd forgotten his phone at home while he was at the gym and that he'd make it up to me when I made it back from my retreat.  **super side eye**

On the Saturday of my retreat, I sent Rick a "Good Luck" text because he was running his first 5K.  Usually he responds pretty quickly, but this time he didn't respond until later that evening.  While I was scrolling down the pages of my Instagram page, what do I see?  It's a photo collage of Rick with his family and hugged up with a female.  Now, I don't see many of my guy friends hugged up with a female at a family event unless that female is someone that they're "with" AND these weren't just group pictures but pictures with couples (I.e. Mom and Dad, Aunt and Uncle, Him and Female, etc.). Oh really?  I get back on Sunday and Rick has an attitude and cancels the plan (I saw that coming), Monday - same attitude.  The next Sunday pops up a picture of him and the same girl and another couple at the Texans game. Needless to say...Rick is deleted.

Fast Forward to a few weeks later and I'm at the Rockets game, enjoying my time with my aunt.  My phone rings and I answer.  Why is Rick calling me and asking me where I'm sitting?  Then he asks if I'm here with a guy. that how we're going to play this?  So I politely explain that he has no right or reason to ask me that, especially in light of his recent IG posts.  So then he says that he was just checking up on me.  I extra-politely let him know that he doesn't have to do that and then I believe that I hung up the phone.  I'm sure that I could've handled that a lot more maturely but I was in the moment and extremely insulted. Insulted that this man had the audacity to "check-in" on me like I was supposed to be good with him after he treated me like...dung.  No sir, I'm good!

Bright Side: I conducted a small investigation and found out that the girl was/is his girlfriend from college.  Did that make me feel better about the situation? Nope, it didn' actually made me feel a little worse.  Anywho, I got over it and I'm a little stronger for it.  With Rick, I learned that it's ok to let your guard down a bit.  I can admit my faults and say that when things weren't going the way that I felt that they should have been going, I didn't hesitate to make that known.  Instead of being so caught up in the potential and possibilities of Me and Rick, I should've paid more attention to reality and his actions.  Work in Progress.

Friday, August 16, 2013

The Adventures of Rick (Part III)

Happy Friday!  I believe the last I blogged, I alluded to Rick reaching out and contacting me.  This is what happened...

A couple of months ago, I was walking in the tunnel (a place in Downtown Houston that is underground and filled with restaurants and shops) and I happened to run into a good friend of mine...we'll call him Paul.  Now, Paul and I "talked/dated" many moons ago but we're still pretty good friends.  Paul was talking to some friends when I spoke and he started walking with me in the tunnel since we were going the same way.  Apparently while we were walking, Rick saw us.  (You know how you just have a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you're going to see someone that you know...I had that feeling as soon as Paul and I started walking together.)  I just knew that we were going to run into Rick, but it didn't matter to me because Rick "dropped his dime".  Paul and I go to our respective lunch choices and that was it.

A couple of weeks later, I was walking in the tunnel again with one of our interns and Rick walks up on the side of me and speaks.  When I get back to my desk, I receive a text from Rick saying that he didn't know how things went sour between us but that I looked nice, blah, blah, blah.  Funny, right?  The thing is that things weren't "sour", I just stopped putting effort into something that he wasn't investing any energy too.  I politely explained my stance and how I'd given him a warning that I wasn't going to chase or nag him about anything...I was going to just move around.  Rick wasted no time telling me that he saw me walking with Paul and that I ignored him.  I didn't even see him!  I just nicely explained that if he would've been doing what he was supposed to do, I would've been walking with him.  He understood and I can say that things have been going a lot better. 

Bright Side:  Things with Rick are still...developing.  His communication is a lot better and we've hung out a lot more frequently than before.  I have been doing a lot better at being more flexible and going with the flow (which is a huge accomplishment for me).  We'll see where this friendship goes...

Stay tuned to next friend/line sister has a very interesting Saturday night planned for me.

Monday, August 5, 2013

The Adventures of Rick (Part Two)


So last you read, Rick & I exchanged numbers.  On that following Monday, Rick and I conversed (via text) throughout the day and he made me laugh...a lot!  Normally, I prefer a mix of actual phone conversations and texts, but we were both at work so it was cool.  I learned that he was 25 (OMG I felt like Stella).  I was a little concerned about that 4 year difference because at this point in our lives, 4 years is a big difference when the female is older (in my opinion). It may explain why things happened the way that they happened.  Anyway, the texting continued throughout the week so I decide that enough is enough and I called. When I called, Rick answered and we chatted for about 3-5 minutes before he says that he's going into the store and he'll call me back.  Now, I talk on the phone wherever I am so this raises a bit my brow a bit...especially when he never called back (STRIKE 1).  I keep it moving with my expectations being pretty low for the survival of this "situation".  A connect hooked me and a friend up with some tickets to a music event the next Friday.  I'd already asked Rick if he wanted to go because one of the performers was one of his favs.  Friday comes up and I don't hear from Rick at all.  I called and text him but no answer.  At this point I'm getting pretty pissed because I could've asked someone else to come with me.  About 30 mins before the first act hits the stage, I get a call from Rick saying that he was sleep, he forgot, but he'll be on his way.  So now let's add irritated to pissed and you get me.  Luckily, my friend and her sister were there and they kept me laughing the entire time.  Finally, Rick makes his way to the venue and I give him his pass to get in.  When we get to our section, things go a lot better.  My friend's sister starts asking Rick questions and he's a good sport while answering them.  This is pretty great since my friends have been known to go into interrogation mode, so it's good that his skin is thick enough to handle meeting them in the future (if there is a future).  So the whole time that we're listening to the music, Rick is flirting and saying things that should make me go all "goo-goo eyed", but I'm all about the action.  The subject came up about communication and I expressed that I need a combination of seeing, speaking, and texting.  At the end of the night, my friend left with her sister a little early so Rick drove me to my office to pick up my car.  My keys were on my desk, so I thought that Rick was going to just drop me off at the door to my office. Instead, he drove me down and into the garage. I was super surprised to see him still there when I came out of the building.  I thought it was super sweet that he waited until I got into my car safely before he followed me out.  (Forget swag, I'm a sucker for a true gentleman...with nice arms and a great smile!)

So, another week goes by with no initiation of communication by him (STRIKE 2).  It started to seem that I was the only the one that's really putting in work and I'm starting to get bored with this situation.  My relationship philosophy is the way things start are the way things finish.  I don't know if Rick started feeling my vibe, but he asked me to lunch the next week.  We met up for lunch and it went pretty well. I think that Rick was a bit irritated with me because I paid for my own food.  I usually stick with the philosophy that whoever asked, pays but I've been in more than one situation where I let the guy go to the window first and the horrible words "one please!" were uttered.  So I wouldn't have to endure that again, I just pulled out my card and paid for my food.  After lunch, we walked around a bit and he dropped me off at my office and I went inside. On our walk back from lunch, we were just talking and somehow my dating/life philosophies came up.  I mentioned (again) my unwillingness to chase men and that I'll express my needs once or twice but I won't nag anyone.  I have the courtesy to listen to the needs of others so I expect the same in return.  I also mentioned that although my life can be a whirlwind of events, works, community service, and family/friend obligations, I make time for who/what I want to make time for.  Rick asked if I would make time for him and my response was "sure". 

The final straw was when I called Rick the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend to see if he wanted to catch the Motown Review at Miller Outdoor Theatre.  He didn't answer so I left a nice voicemail. Rick never text, return phone call, smoke signal, email, NADA (STRIKE 3)!  I was done! At that point I decided that I didn't have time for someone who doesn't have time for me.  If someone is interested, then they make it known.  They want to spend time with you and they want to talk to you on a regular basis, not just for a hour of lunch every now again.  If that's what the offer is on the table, I'll leave it.

Bright Side:  Maybe it's just me, but the first days that you meet and are interacting with someone is supposed to be the honeymoon period.  You know, it's when you text all day then talk on the phone for hours.  He asks you out on dates and you hang out all the time.  I know this isn't with everyone that you meet, but when someone talks a big game about how much they like you and blah, blah, blah this is what you'd expect...or am I missing something? Well I kept to my word and stopped initiating contact with Rick.  My time is way too valuable to be giving it way to someone who doesn't understand the concept of reciprocity.  I deserve and demand way more than that! Funny thing is that someone who was so "into" me, he didn't decide to reach out until 2 months later...but you'll get that story next Monday!