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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

"Let's Try This Ooooone More Time..."

It's so crazy how the weirdest things always happen to me.  Sometimes so weird to where I think about if I was being told some of the stories that I tell my friends (and blog readers), I probably wouldn't believe it.  But the killing part is that every one of my stories are true and at least one (sometimes two) of my friends can vouch for me.  Well...last Saturday was one of those times. 

So last weekend was sooo crazy! I had so much to do and not enough hours in the day to do it.  After I left my grandmother's program at church, I went by the Sprint store to transfer my numbers from my old phone into my new phone. So I'm sitting and waiting for the service tech to bring me my phone when this random guy starts talking to me.  Now, I'm my grandfather's child so I'll sit and talk to anyone.  So we are sitting and he asks me what I do and then he starts telling me about his daughter and how she's trying to set up a non-profit.(I promise, at times, telling someone that you work for a non-profit is like telling someone that you're a producer/AR rep/tv producer, etc.  They feel the need to start telling you all of their ideas and asking for all types of things!  But anyways...) So then he asks if I'm married (Umm...sir. Your wedding band is still on your finger.  Are you really trying to go there?) I reply "No", he then asks "boyfriend?" and I reply, "Not yet".  So then he goes in for the kill!  "I have a coworker who used to play basketball overseas and I think that you two should meet."  (Umm...excuse me?  Is this total stranger really trying to set me up on a blind date?  Who does that?) He leaves the store, I get my phone, and that was supposed to be the end.

Or so I thought...about 2 days later I get a Facebook message from the guy from the Sprint Store.  (I should've used my alias, Nia.)  He starts telling me about his friend and asks for my number.  I think about it and I'm like "Hmm...why not?  I'm not getting anywhere by meeting men on my own."  So I politely tell him that I'm not giving him my phone number but that his friend can email me.  Then I give him the email that I normally use for club promoters and spam. lol  So the guy emails me and he uses "converse" instead of "conversate" (CHECK) and he seems to be pretty intelligent (DOUBLE CHECK).  He calls and I'm at work so I don't answer.  I call back and we have a pretty good conversation.  He was funny, educated, nice...all the things that a woman would want except...he is 43! Yes FOURTY-THREE!!! Instantly, I just started playing the part in Daddy's Little Girls when Julia (Gabrielle Union) goes out with the 40 year old who wants to be a rapper who asks for skrimps.  If you don't know what I'm talking about then you need to view this...

For some unknown reason his friend thought that I was in my 30's (I don't know how since most people say that I look younger than my age, but he did say something about the way that I carry myself...if that's the case then I guess being mistaken for a woman in her30's isn't all that bad. lol)

Soo last night we go out to eat and I actually had a good time.  We had a pretty good conversation and he seems like a really good guy.  Things did get a little awkward (for me) when he would make comments about a long term relationship because I kept looking at him like an uncle or someone.  I mean, really, the dude is 3 years younger than my mother...I JUST.CANT.DO.IT!  So after last night, I had to send the message about being bothered by the age difference and he completely understood (it's kinda hard not to understand when there is a 17 year difference in age).  Sucks because maybe if he were younger or I were older, things would be different but oh well!

Bright Side: The entire time that I was at dinner, I kept thinking about the person who he would be perfect for.  Hopefully, they're both receptive to the idea and maybe big things can happen for them!  **fingers crossed**

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

"Always Bet On Black..."

**Disclaimer: No sensitive hearts or minds here.  These thoughts are my opinion and if you don't like them...don't read anything past this statement.**

I've always considered myself to be an EOD (Equal Opportunity Dater).  Since I have had such bad luck with men of my own race, I have always been open to the option of dating outside my race.  I mean...who says that love has to be of a particular race? Isn't love supposed to be blind?  With all of this being said, I have to admit that I am somewhat of a hypocrite.  Even though I do believe that love should be blind, I do give the occasional side-eye when I see black men with women of another race. (Blame it on the number of recent studies that list all of the many reasons why black women will live a single life...if you don't know what I'm talking about then email me and I'll send you a list of links

I try to live my life the best way I know how.  I try to make sure that I am respectful, courteous, and polite to everyone that I come into contact with, and it really eats me up when I come across people who don't practice the same principles.  When I actually thought about how I am treated by the men of my own race vs. the men of other races, it kind of changed my view on my dating principles. 

For example, just the other week I was on my way to work and I was walking into the door, right behind a guy of a different race.  Well when we got to the door, he walked in and let the door close right in front of me.  I wasn't 30 feet away or on the phone...I was RIGHT behind him and he let the door just my face.  No "I apologize I didn't see you" or anything.  Matter-of-face, he did a slight turn right before we went inside the door so I know that he knew that I was right behind him.  Talk about a very tense elevator ride.  The killing part is that the EXACT same thing happened not more than a couple of hours later as I was walking into my apartment complex.  I was soooo furious.  To me, it's just common courtesy to hold the door open for a lady.  Then today, I was just ready to go off!  I had to go pick up about 20 boxes of recycling guides for work.  Now, when I was loading the guides into my car from the printer, the printer helped me put them in my car but when I go to my office not one man walked toward me to help me bring the guides into the office.  They didn't even ask me if I needed any help.  Matter-of-fact, one man looked at me and said "You sure have a lot of boxes there" and kept walking.  The guy that was with him did the same.  It wasn't until my second trip, that a black man saw me struggling and came to my rescue.  (Note: I'm not the damsel in distress type...I will do what I can do on my own.  But, I was wearing 3 1/2 in heels and I had on a skirt and the boxes kept falling off the dolly.  I was really struggling and they didn't even ask if I needed any type of assistance)  He didn't really ask if I needed help, but he just immediately started helping me make sure that the boxes stayed on the dolly, helped me get the dolly in the elevator, then helped me unload the boxes off the dolly.  He was a lifesaver. 

After this happened, it really made me start to think.  I thought back and analyzed how many times something like this happened...a person of a different race did (or didn't do) something that most people consider courteous and a black man just automatically did it.  I came to the conclusion that it happened more times than not.  Regardless of if he was in a business suit or baggy jeans, mouth full of golds or flashing the pearly whites, muscular or skinny, adult or didn't matter because (for me) they were always there to help and it wasn't because they were trying to get my phone number or anything.  They just did it with a smile and for a "Thank you." I guess these experiences helped me to I realize how much I should really appreciate black men and how the ones that I've come across (not dating but day to day interactions) should give me more hope that the right one is out there somewhere.  I just need to have a little more faith...

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Older Doesn't Always Mean Wiser...

Good Morning People!!!

As I have stated, many times before, I have been on this "Something New" kick when it comes to dating. night I met two of my line sisters for karaoke at a popular sports bar in Houston.  When I got up to leave, I was stopped by an attractive, older gentleman.  He was cute so I gave him my number.  I get home and he calls me that night.  Now I can appreciate someone deciding not to wait three days or whatnot but this man called me at midnight.  I politely informed him that I was sleep and that he could call me at a decent hour on another day.  So he takes my advice and we converse for a little over the phone.  He invites me out for coffee (I don't drink coffee) and when we were supposed to go...I dropped the ball.  I was so tired that I didn't feel like going so I didn't answer the phone.  Now I know that I was SUPER wrong for that.  If the tables would've been turned I would've deleted the number and I would've been upset.  (In my defense, I was a tad younger and not as mature as I am now...but I admit that I was wrong)  But this guy wasn't like that.  When I did talk to him, I told him that I was tired and he was cool with it.  So things are going fine until I talk to him a couple of times and he kept asking me to come to his house because he wanted to "hold me."  RED FLAG I politely respond that I don't know him like that and he takes that as instruction to ask me every time we speak.  After the fifth or sixth time, I just tell him that I don't think that we should converse anymore because my feelings haven't changed from the first time that he asked me the question.  He then calls and apologizes and tries to explain and I'm just like whatever. 

So...we begin to converse again and he's on his best behavior.  We go out to eat and out to a club (where my Bff, Joe, is there to get a mental pic of the face and have his bodyguard friend threaten the poor man) and everything is cool.  But then he starts back up with the I want to hold you and it just gets to be too much.  He then starts rambling about his family history and he starts getting emotional about his father issues and how he wants me to meet his grandmother and his sisters and it was too overwhelming.  At this point, I might have known him a couple of months, but our conversations weren't consistant.  I would talk to him a couple of times a week so I just started to put him in the "hang-out" category.  I then tell him that it's too much too soon and then he says "I Love You." Umm...excuse me? come again? you what? you don't even know me.  So I just tell him that we need to go our seperate ways. 

One Sunday, I met my linesister at the gas station, in a different city, to go to a frat brothers BBQ. I go into the convenient store to get soemthing to drink and as I walk back to my car, guess who I run into?  Yep...the old man.  He then sees this as a sign from the cosmos that he needs to start contacting me again.  I don't answer the calls or texts but then guess what happens?  Yep...I see him at my beauty salon.  I try to pretend that I don't see him and it works until I have to go to the beauty supply next door to pick something up.  So then guess what happens a few weeks later after not answering his attempts to communicate with me?  I'm sitting in the chair, getting relaxer applied to my head and guess who comes through the door?  He came into the doorway and was like "I saw your car outside so I wanted to come say hey" He had the nerve to be smiling and expect me to be excited to see him.  RED FLAG  Not only was I looking crazy, the stylist across the hall AND my stylist/aunt were ready to take those hot marcells out of the oven and start beating that man down.  Sooo needless to say, after that event I did not talk to him EVER again.  He tried calling me from a different number but to no avail because I was not trying to have any contact with him.  

The story gets a little funnier...
Two of my BFF's went with me to my male BFF's birthday party one night.  I went to go talk to the DJ and when I came back guess who was sitting there laughing and talking to my cousin/BFF.  Now, I  had already filled her in on the antics of the old man.  Please tell me why when I walked over his face dropped.  He said hello but then quickly moved around.  Come to find out...the old man tried to talk to her a while ago.  I was like you know the old man? she was like that's THE old man? and I was like yeah, his name is Jacob.  She was like he told me that his name was John.  I was like he told me his son's name was John...she was like uhhh.  This was TOO funny.  Out of ALLLLL the people in Houston, we conversed with the same crazy fool...the world truly is a small place.

Bright Side:
After I saw him that night, I didn't get any new phone calls from him and I haven't seen him again.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I Just Had To Get This Off My Chest...

I was reading (working) at work a book by Zane called Total Eclipse of the Heart.  Now anyone who reads knows that Zane's books are a little out there at times, but I assure you that this book has an EXCELLENT story line.  I won't go into detail about the book, but I will share with you the quote that I feel came to me at the perfect time.

"Love sought is good, but given UNSOUGHT is better"

**Background: I love reading and I love quotes**

This quote was so powerful to me that I had to stop reading and start typing.  Now don't get me wrong, I tried to contiue reading but my mind kept going back to those words.  The quote is from William Shakespeare's Twelth Night and it was so amazing to me how the words from over 400 years ago still applied to my life today.  Now I know that I shouldn't be that amazed because I always find passages in the Bible that I can apply daily to my life but this really stuck with me.  I guess it's because almost every other conversation that I have with someone in my "JA Squad" (my besties) is something about me being tired of being single and wanting one of these dating zeros to turn into my hero (yeah I know that was corny but it's my blog...I can say what I want to!) And everytime that I talk to Cheezie, she always says "He will come when you aren't looking, and when he does you're not going to know what hit you!"  When I read that quote from Willie S, I heard Cheezie's words instantly. 

As much as I am tired of hearing those words of advice, I know that they are true.  Deep, deep, deep, deep down in my heart I know that I need to exercise patience (ha, ha...riiiiight) and faith. Both of which I know that I have...but it's so hard.  I guess I should view this time as a blessing.  I SHOULD be taking this time to forgive myself of the mistakes that I've made and sincerely forgive others (whether they've asked for it or not), I SHOULD be letting go of relationships that are toxic to my well-being, I SHOULD be more concerned with achieving the goals that I set for myself, I SHOULD, I SHOULD, I SHOULD.  I know that I'm comfortable being by myself (epecially going to the moves...$5 before noon!!!) but I'm just ready to share my time and my space with someone who's truly worth it.  In no way do I feel that I'm ready to be married, but I am ready to find my best friend  who I can eventually call my husband. In due time I suppose... So from today on, I am going to learn to be content "in whatsoever state I'm in."  But understand me correctly, as with many things in my life, I'm content but not complacent.

Well...I just needed to get that off my chest so I could continue with the last two chapters of this book and move on to Carl Webber's new book.  Yay Me!!!!

Monday, April 5, 2010

"I Should've KNOWN Better"

Like I stated before, this dating season has been pretty slow for me, so when I received a text message from Mr. "He's Just Not Into Me...", I was like "what the heck?" I didn't have anything else to do that night and going to the movies can't be that bad, right?  WRONG!!!!!  Here's what happened (and please keep the "I told you so" and the "what was she thinking?" to yourself, please.)  So the evening went a little like this...

**Note: If you haven't read "He's Just Not Into Me" please stop, read that one first, then come back to this one or you'll be all kinds of confused. lol**

He sends me text messages during work trying to figure out what I want to see.  I LOVE the movies so I can really go see anything, except horror, and be just as happy as can be.  So when I get off, he asks me to pick him up from a restaurant down the street from my place.  When I get there i'm a little confused as to why he isn't ready to get in the car and go.  He comes out to the car to tell me that he needs to pay his tab.  (I'm thinking why didn't you just use the time that it took to come outside to the car to pay your tab?  But common sense isn't common) ANYWAY...he finally comes outside and we're on our way to the theater.  When I ask him what movie we are going to see, he tells me a horror movie.  Now I know that I told him that I don't do horror movies, so I change it to another movie.  We get to the parking lot and this is where I start to wish that I was the chick from Bewitched and could twinkle my nose and magically transport myself to another place. 

We get to the theater and I'm about to get out of the car when he stops me and starts professing his strong like for me.  I'm looking like "WTH is going on?"  He goes into how he and his best friend are like Will and Grace (may I point out that Will is GAY!!!) and that she told him to tell me how he felt about me.  Then he starts going in on how he wanted me to take him to New York with me and then he holds the bridge of his nose, turns his head away from me, closes his eyes and says "I can't believe I'm telling you all of this." Now...I'm trying to keep my composure but it is SOOOOO hard!  He then tells me that he wants me to be his woman.  Now...he and I have only been out MAYBE 2 or 3 times, we don't talk on the phone, and I barely acknowledge his existence when he does reach out to me.  So imagine my surprise when all of this starts pouring out.  The best I could do was to say "I mean you're cool..."  (sucks to be him)  I didn't know what else to say to make the situation any better.  So, I just opened the door so we could go into the movies and then in the middle of the parking lot he walks up to me, reaches out to caress the side of my face and I'm just hoping that he isn't trying to kiss me.  It was an awkward moment, so I just moved my face and turn around to start walking. 

We get into the movies and he asks me like 5 times if I want anything, tries to hold my hand, and keeps talking to me DURING the movie (I don't talk very much during the movies because I like to focus on what's going on...I don't like to miss anything).  I'm just so annoyed by the time the movie gets to the middle.  I SO wish that we would've just met there (but he doesn't own a car) so I could've just left out of the theater and used that time to catch up on some much needed rest. 

I just don't understand how he doesn't see that he really isn't into females.  Needless to say that no matter how slow my dating season gets, I will NOT be taking him up on anymore offers to hang out.  It's just not worth my sanity or my time.

Bright Side: still working on that one...

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Can't Wait For This Feeling!

Not sure how many of you have listened to Monica's Still Standing album, but if you haven't, you are REALLY missing out on something really wonderful.  This song is my fav-o-rite on the album.  It gives me chills everytime I hear it (probably because I'm listening to it at the highest volume neighbors probably hate me but I'm not really concerned) and it's pretty funny how my finger automatically hits repeat when it's almost over.  Come to think of it, the people who drive next to me (when I have my windows down) and the people in my office probably hate me too because this isn't the kind of song that you can sing softly. No, you have to sing it with feeling, emotion, and VOLUME!!! lol...or maybe it's just me, but anywho...hope you enjoy it as much as I do! :)

Ok...back to work (my GRE review). No judgements...I'm in the office by myself and at least I'm being productive :)  Have a great weekend and say an extra prayer for me and this test!