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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Progress Report

Happy Wednesday!  Did y'all watch The Game last night?  We had a viewing party at my cousin's house and all I can say is that I wish I had a remote where I could fast forward to next Tuesday, because I want to see how Melanie is going to get out of this.  I love good tv! Now...that other show was okay.  Personally, I think that Erica Hubbard (the single one) is going to carry the show.  I couldn't stop laughing at her "Dead Baby Deer Dirty South Reeeeemix!" ("Dead Baby Deer what Dead Baby Deer)...still laughing now!

Anywho...I just wanted to fill y'all in on my progress.  I would like to think that I'm doing pretty well.  My Weight Watchers is going well (even though I used last week as a "practice" week...I officially started this Monday).  I keep thinking about the beaches of Brazil and going to my 10 year high school reunion in June (gotta be right for those awkward run-ins with the past: see Before I Self Destruct).  Other than my healthy living goal, I've been making an effort to spend more time with my siblings and my family...genuine quality time.  My little brother has his basketball game today and I'm really excited to see how well he does!  (Since there's a 14 year difference between us, I'm going to need him to take care of me when I'm old with that basketball contract! just jokes!) 

Love - Hmm...I debated whether or not to divulge this information but I can't keep a secret from y'all!  There is one guy that I dated in the past.  We only went out a few times (because I really wasn't ready for more then.  I thought I was...but I really wasn't.  Funny thing is that he wasn't either).  Needless to say it didn't go anywhere.  We would see each other in passing but that was about it.  I don't know how, but a few days before New Year's Day we started communicating and we've hung out a couple of times since.  Now that my eyes are open, I see that he's actually a really nice guy.  He's intelligent, funny, handsome, respectful, educated, etc.  But, in keeping with my goals for 2011, I'm taking it slow.  I'm just letting everything play out and see where it goes.  I kinda fear that if I don't make some sort of interest known, I'll be stuck in the friend zone, but if I do, things can start moving at a rate that I'm not ready for.  I've been single for 5, almost 6, years (yea...that's a LONG time!) and as much as I feel that I'm ready for a relationship, I'm scared to death of it.  So that's even more reason for me to make sure that things go at a comfortable pace (that and I don't even know if he's really even feeling me that way or as a homie).

So yeah...this is my progress.  I think that I'm moving along nicely (for it to just be the 12th day of the year...Baby Steps!)  How are you doing with sticking to your goals of 2011?

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!

(a really good friend of mine, and my unofficial publicist, reads my blog and gave me this frog as one of my Christmas presents.  You put the frog in water and in 72 hours, it turns into a prince!  It is too cute! I kissed it to see if it would turn one of these frogs into a prince. Lol)

To all of my followers and readers, I would just like to say thank you for reading, sharing & commenting, and refering my blog to others.  It has been an eventful 2010 and I look forward to a prosperous 2011.  A few of my sisters and I got together a few days before the new year and we discussed our resolutions.  One sister told me that it's better to put your resolutions in writing so that you can always go back to review them.  I figured that the best way for me to keep up with my resolutions through 2011 is to put them on here for the world to read...and hold me accountable.  So here goes...

  1. I'm single.  It's going to be like that until he comes so I might as well embrace it...FULLY!  I plan to take full advantage of this time.  I'm going to Brazil with my MPA class in May, but I have some other trips in the works.  I only have one life so I might as well live it up to the fullest.
  2. Save.  I have horrible spending habits and I'm not getting any younger, I opened up another account that I'm going to put my savings so that it's "outta sight, outta mind" when I go to my online banking site.
  3. Activity (as if my life isn't active enough)  I work in non-profit, but I rarely participate in any other community service outside of work.  I plan to give more of myself and make time to give to others.
  4. more thoughtless dating.  I'm not going out on a date with someone "just because" If I agree to go out with someone, it is because I am genuinely interested in them and I want to know more... If I want to get out, that's why I have my "J(A) Squad"
  5. Family & Friends.  I need to make more time to hangout with my family. period.  As far as friends, I've formed some lasting friendships over the past couple of years that are worth maintaining and I've formed some relationships with people who haven't been very productive...those need to be discontinued. 
  6. Health.  My eating habits are worse than my spending habits because I spend a lot of money on fast food and eating out...and it's beginning to show on my waistline (My metabolism isn't what it used to be).  In the New Year (like everyone else), I'm taking my health into my own hands.  I know that the consumption of too many fatty foods can lead to all kinds of health risks.  So on Monday, January 3rd I attend my first Weight Watchers meeting (my aunt decided that this would be the perfect Christmas present for me...go figure) steps!
That's it...I like to keep my resolutions short, simple, and attainable.  I hope that you all had a wonderful and safe new year and I wish you much love, happiness, and success in 2011!

Facebook Is My Friend...

About 2 weeks ago, my cousin celebrated her 30th birthday.  At her party, there was a really attractive guy there and at the end of the night, numbers were exchanged.  He text that night and we had a really nice conversation.  After a couple of days of conversation, I brought up the subject of if he was currently in a relationship, he evaded the question and started talking about something else.  RED FLAG So when he answered the question after that...I brought the question back to him.  And his answer was "It's Complicated...A Long Story" Really? Now, I'm thinking that since he lives in another city and is only a year younger than me that maybe it was a back & forth relationship.  But, after a failed attempt at a Tango call, I secured his last name and let my fingers and Facebook do the research for me (I always do some type of research to make sure that the person isn't on America's Most Wanted or whatnot).  Much to my surprise, I learned that he has a set of twins AND a wife. Family pictures had been posted about 2 months ago.  Seek and ye shall find...Evade and ye shall be deleted.

Bright Side:  It was only a couple of days so nothing was invested.

The More Things Change...

About 2 years ago, I was on this serious dating streak.  I was meeting guys left & right and actually having a productive dating life.  During this time is when I met "The Bull".  A group of friends were having a dating auction and the two of us were there to support our friends.  My friend, Mya, and I were checking him out and everything looked pretty good.  Before he left, we exchanged numbers and that's were it all started to go down hill.

Now I would like to think of myself as pretty conservative.  I don't feel comfortable just going to someone's house (that I just met) to hang out at 2am. To me, the "understanding" is that there will be some sort of physical activity going on.  Now, I'm sure there are some people who do this and they just talk, well...I'm not even going to put myself in that position because who knows what will happen when I say no.  Anyway, Bull and I ran into each other a couple of hours later when I went out to meet some friends, and what did Bull ask?  He asked if I wanted to hang out at his house.  ( dude, I JUST met you almost 3 hours ago and you don't know me and most importantly...I DON'T KNOW YOU!) I politely declined and he asks again.  This should have been a RED FLAG, but we all know that [in my past] I didn't have the best track record of paying attention to these.  Well...Bull and I kept talking (and he kept trying to get me to come to his house and I kept saying no) for about 2 weeks.  Bull was cool to converse with, but Bull was obsessed with sex and talking about sex.  Like I said before, I'm pretty conservative when it comes to things like this so I would always change the subject.  I was starting to grow tired of the constant references towards sex, but Bull did me the favor of making it perfectly clear that he wasn't ready for what I was ready for.  One day, Bull and I made plans to hang out (in a public place) the next day.  He was supposed to call around a certain time and we would meet up.  Well guess what?  BULL NEVER CALLED...that day!  Bull called a couple of days later like nothing had ever happened and wondered why I answered his text message with "who is this?"  (I am the QUEEN of deleting numbers out of my phone) Then he proceeded to explain that he called but I didn't answer.  So I asked why he didn't leave a message or valid response.  So Bull had to go...


My LS and I were at a football game when we were walking around looking for our seats and guess who we see? Yep...Bull.  I wasn't sure if it was really him (and I'm really bad at going up to the wrong person) so my LS went and verified.  When the game reached halftime, we went back around to the table and Bull and I exchanged information.  I'm always looking for the Bright Side, so I'm thinking that we're 2 years older so maybe he might have matured...WRONG!  Bull called me that night and what was one of the first topics out of his  I changed the subject, he caught on, so we started talking about other things.  Conversation was good so I was starting to think that I made the right decision.  Bull and I hung out a couple of days later, then that evening he was talking about an exclusive courtship (dating exclusively...NOT a relationship.  I'm not that flow-y).  I was a little hesitant, but I'm trying to let the next day I told him that I was down.  But then Bull started these 2 week disappearances. RED FLAG  I mean...I wouldn't talk to him, see him, or anything.  I might call the first day, but my calls would ring once then go to voicemail.  Then when I was just starting to do some deleting, Bull would text.  Really?  So when I asked what was with the disappearing acts, he would say that he was busy with work, going out of town, etc.  Now...I'm not Boo-Boo-the-fool.  So I would explain that if someone was really interested in the person, they would make time to communicate.  It doesn't take anything to send a text just to say "hey" or send an email.  But the funny thing is that he had plenty of time to check his fantasy football and watch every sport imaginable on tv, with his friens, or with his neighbor.  The other funny thing is that when I asked him about going out he said "If you're good"...wait playback...did he really say what I thought that he said?  (Last time I checked, I was 27 and not a 5 year old who could be put in "time out") Yeah...he was being deleted...again.  So then he calls and asks why I was upset, so I proceeded to explain but I could tell that he just wasn't getting it.  After the explanation he hit me with a "See...this is why black men date white wom..CLICK  I hung up the phone so fast that I didn't even hear the last part of the statement.  (I understand that was a bit juvenile, but...I couldn't resist) So I sent a text that told him to communicate with me one he got some sense (yes...I said it just like that) and he responded with an equally juvenile "F U". A week later he sends a blank text that I don't respond to, then he calls...twice. 

Bright Side:
Maybe what he is used to is a lot of back & forth drama, but my last relationship was full of that and I'm not going to start a new one in that way.  I'm so happy that I've come to the point where I'm not going to lower my standards to be with just any man instead of waiting for the one to come who will respect me, my time, and my efforts.