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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

"Always Bet On Black..."

**Disclaimer: No sensitive hearts or minds here.  These thoughts are my opinion and if you don't like them...don't read anything past this statement.**

I've always considered myself to be an EOD (Equal Opportunity Dater).  Since I have had such bad luck with men of my own race, I have always been open to the option of dating outside my race.  I mean...who says that love has to be of a particular race? Isn't love supposed to be blind?  With all of this being said, I have to admit that I am somewhat of a hypocrite.  Even though I do believe that love should be blind, I do give the occasional side-eye when I see black men with women of another race. (Blame it on the number of recent studies that list all of the many reasons why black women will live a single life...if you don't know what I'm talking about then email me and I'll send you a list of links

I try to live my life the best way I know how.  I try to make sure that I am respectful, courteous, and polite to everyone that I come into contact with, and it really eats me up when I come across people who don't practice the same principles.  When I actually thought about how I am treated by the men of my own race vs. the men of other races, it kind of changed my view on my dating principles. 

For example, just the other week I was on my way to work and I was walking into the door, right behind a guy of a different race.  Well when we got to the door, he walked in and let the door close right in front of me.  I wasn't 30 feet away or on the phone...I was RIGHT behind him and he let the door just my face.  No "I apologize I didn't see you" or anything.  Matter-of-face, he did a slight turn right before we went inside the door so I know that he knew that I was right behind him.  Talk about a very tense elevator ride.  The killing part is that the EXACT same thing happened not more than a couple of hours later as I was walking into my apartment complex.  I was soooo furious.  To me, it's just common courtesy to hold the door open for a lady.  Then today, I was just ready to go off!  I had to go pick up about 20 boxes of recycling guides for work.  Now, when I was loading the guides into my car from the printer, the printer helped me put them in my car but when I go to my office not one man walked toward me to help me bring the guides into the office.  They didn't even ask me if I needed any help.  Matter-of-fact, one man looked at me and said "You sure have a lot of boxes there" and kept walking.  The guy that was with him did the same.  It wasn't until my second trip, that a black man saw me struggling and came to my rescue.  (Note: I'm not the damsel in distress type...I will do what I can do on my own.  But, I was wearing 3 1/2 in heels and I had on a skirt and the boxes kept falling off the dolly.  I was really struggling and they didn't even ask if I needed any type of assistance)  He didn't really ask if I needed help, but he just immediately started helping me make sure that the boxes stayed on the dolly, helped me get the dolly in the elevator, then helped me unload the boxes off the dolly.  He was a lifesaver. 

After this happened, it really made me start to think.  I thought back and analyzed how many times something like this happened...a person of a different race did (or didn't do) something that most people consider courteous and a black man just automatically did it.  I came to the conclusion that it happened more times than not.  Regardless of if he was in a business suit or baggy jeans, mouth full of golds or flashing the pearly whites, muscular or skinny, adult or didn't matter because (for me) they were always there to help and it wasn't because they were trying to get my phone number or anything.  They just did it with a smile and for a "Thank you." I guess these experiences helped me to I realize how much I should really appreciate black men and how the ones that I've come across (not dating but day to day interactions) should give me more hope that the right one is out there somewhere.  I just need to have a little more faith...


  1. I don't think I told you yet, but, I LOVE your blog. It's very entertaining. Keep up the good work woman!

  2. Hey! Great job! I LOVE it!

  3. Who ever said love is blind was a damn fool! You love what you love inside and outside. And with that we love people of our same culture and raced bc the tend to share the same principles and moral values we do (i said "tend")...

    We has humans want to believe that we SOLELY fall in love with what's inside a person... but reality is... we want to love the whole person (looks, personality, values, etc...) How many times have you heard people say they love someone but break things off bc of the lack of physical chemistry or differences in religious views? ... alot...

    So my opinion is don't shut the door on other races... just make sure you are not shutting the door on you own in the meantime...

  4. good point. I will try to keep my mind open and evaluate possible suitors on a case by case basis.