About 2 years ago, I was on this serious dating streak. I was meeting guys left & right and actually having a productive dating life. During this time is when I met "The Bull". A group of friends were having a dating auction and the two of us were there to support our friends. My friend, Mya, and I were checking him out and everything looked pretty good. Before he left, we exchanged numbers and that's were it all started to go down hill.
Now I would like to think of myself as pretty conservative. I don't feel comfortable just going to someone's house (that I just met) to hang out at 2am. To me, the "understanding" is that there will be some sort of physical activity going on. Now, I'm sure there are some people who do this and they just talk, well...I'm not even going to put myself in that position because who knows what will happen when I say no. Anyway, Bull and I ran into each other a couple of hours later when I went out to meet some friends, and what did Bull ask? He asked if I wanted to hang out at his house. (Umm...no dude, I JUST met you almost 3 hours ago and you don't know me and most importantly...I DON'T KNOW YOU!) I politely declined and he asks again. This should have been a RED FLAG, but we all know that [in my past] I didn't have the best track record of paying attention to these. Well...Bull and I kept talking (and he kept trying to get me to come to his house and I kept saying no) for about 2 weeks. Bull was cool to converse with, but Bull was obsessed with sex and talking about sex. Like I said before, I'm pretty conservative when it comes to things like this so I would always change the subject. I was starting to grow tired of the constant references towards sex, but Bull did me the favor of making it perfectly clear that he wasn't ready for what I was ready for. One day, Bull and I made plans to hang out (in a public place) the next day. He was supposed to call around a certain time and we would meet up. Well guess what? BULL NEVER CALLED...that day! Bull called a couple of days later like nothing had ever happened and wondered why I answered his text message with "who is this?" (I am the QUEEN of deleting numbers out of my phone) Then he proceeded to explain that he called but I didn't answer. So I asked why he didn't leave a message or text...no valid response. So Bull had to go...
FAST FORWARD TO 2010
My LS and I were at a football game when we were walking around looking for our seats and guess who we see? Yep...Bull. I wasn't sure if it was really him (and I'm really bad at going up to the wrong person) so my LS went and verified. When the game reached halftime, we went back around to the table and Bull and I exchanged information. I'm always looking for the Bright Side, so I'm thinking that we're 2 years older so maybe he might have matured...WRONG! Bull called me that night and what was one of the first topics out of his mouth...sex. I changed the subject, he caught on, so we started talking about other things. Conversation was good so I was starting to think that I made the right decision. Bull and I hung out a couple of days later, then that evening he was talking about an exclusive courtship (dating exclusively...NOT a relationship. I'm not that flow-y). I was a little hesitant, but I'm trying to let go...so the next day I told him that I was down. But then Bull started these 2 week disappearances. RED FLAG I mean...I wouldn't talk to him, see him, or anything. I might call the first day, but my calls would ring once then go to voicemail. Then when I was just starting to do some deleting, Bull would text. Really? So when I asked what was with the disappearing acts, he would say that he was busy with work, going out of town, etc. Now...I'm not Boo-Boo-the-fool. So I would explain that if someone was really interested in the person, they would make time to communicate. It doesn't take anything to send a text just to say "hey" or send an email. But the funny thing is that he had plenty of time to check his fantasy football and watch every sport imaginable on tv, with his friens, or with his neighbor. The other funny thing is that when I asked him about going out he said "If you're good"...wait playback...did he really say what I thought that he said? (Last time I checked, I was 27 and not a 5 year old who could be put in "time out") Yeah...he was being deleted...again. So then he calls and asks why I was upset, so I proceeded to explain but I could tell that he just wasn't getting it. After the explanation he hit me with a "See...this is why black men date white wom..CLICK I hung up the phone so fast that I didn't even hear the last part of the statement. (I understand that was a bit juvenile, but...I couldn't resist) So I sent a text that told him to communicate with me one he got some sense (yes...I said it just like that) and he responded with an equally juvenile "F U". A week later he sends a blank text that I don't respond to, then he calls...twice.
Maybe what he is used to is a lot of back & forth drama, but my last relationship was full of that and I'm not going to start a new one in that way. I'm so happy that I've come to the point where I'm not going to lower my standards to be with just any man instead of waiting for the one to come who will respect me, my time, and my efforts.