I haven't seen him in over a year and we haven't really had any real communication since the last time we saw each other and I made the decision to end our (pseudo) friendship. So why am I so nervous? I don't know. My friends don't seem to really understand, shoot I don't even really understand why I'm so nervous. It's really like a nervous-excited-unsure energy and I really wish it would go away. I'm sure that I'm putting more on this inevitable meeting than it deserves, but I can't seem to knock it. I think the underlying issue is that I feel like even after a year of minimal contact (1-2 emails/a birthday one-liner), I have a fear that my feelings have not gone anywhere. I try to remind myself of the reasons why I ended our friendship, but they don't stick. I know that I'm stronger than this situation, but my greatest fear is that I will end up right back in the same dangerous cycle that I know will probably put me in a much worse headspace than I was in last year. Ahhh...I don't know! I really hope that I've gained the strength that I need over the past year to do what I need to do and handle the situation accordingly.
I'll keep you updated via Twitter (@Vonne716) or on the blog on Monday. I promise, I'll let you all know what happens!
Have a happy & safe weekend!
Bright Side: I have my squad of people that I can call to keep me straight...let's just hope that they answer the phone! Lol