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Saturday, October 30, 2010

Comeback Season...?

I was determined to get this post done by the end of this week, so I'm sitting under the dryer at the beauty shop (I'm going 100% natural y'all...we'll see how this goes) trying to think of the best way to tell this story.  But, I figure that the best way is to tell it the way that  I always share my my own (special) words.

In high school, there was a guy that I was in a relationship with for 5 years.  He was older than me, but that didn't seem to matter to him.  No, our relationship was not a physical all.  Well 4 1/2 years into the relationship (and 2 mos into the second semester of my freshman year in college), I called him up just to chat and the conversation went like this...

Ring, ring...ring, ring
(woman's voice) Hello?
M: (confused and dumfounded): May I speak to "Jerry"?
Unknown Woman (UW): Who is this?
M: This is J's girlfriend, who are you?
UW: J and I have a 2 year old daughter together and we're getting married (I don't know what else she said because all I heard was my world crashing down)
(cue sound of heart dropping to the floor and shattering into a thousand pieces)
M: Let me speak to him.
(cue UW's ghetto voice screaming at the top of the lungs trying to wake J up)
Jerry: Hello?
M: What the (insert expletives here) is going on?
J: click (phone goes dead)

I try and try to call J back but he was busted and decided that he didn't want to confront the truth.  But me being the "Persistent Pattie" that I day (4 mos later) while on my summer internship, I took it upon myself to make a long-distance (international type long Iceland long distance) phone call to get to the bottom of things.  I googled the Naval dental clinic in Iceland and made the call, asked for him, and guess what?!?!? Yep, he came to the phone (Sherlock Holmes has NOTHING on me!). I could hear his face cracking from Iceland when he heard my voice speaking.  I didn't get much accomplished during that phone call.  Thinking back on it, I don't even know what my goal was...I guess closure.  I spoke my peace but it didn't change anything.  I just kept going on with my life

J and I had a couple of conversations since that Summer of 2002, he asked to come back, I told him no, he actually asked for forgiveness, I gave it to him (not for me...but for him.  I had let that go back a long time ago).  Now, we're at a point where we can be cool (not friends, but cool)

Fast Forward 8 years:  Jerry and I are Facebook friends.  Every now and again we catch each other on FB chat and have "catch-up" conversations.  (You's your mom, your brother, etc.) Well, some kinda way Jerry brings up how sorry he is for 8 years ago and how I should be his wife (mind you, Jerry now has a wife of a couple of years and like 3 or 4 kids).  I will admit that I have asked a couple of questions about what happened then, but I'm not holding any hard feelings or any grudges...i'm just curious to know about the details that I didn't get back then.  But, sometimes the conversation with Jerry can get kinda weird.  One time I ask if his wife knew that he was communicating with me and he said "yes, she knows how I feel about you..."  STOP she knows how you feel about me...shouldn't that read "felt"?  and she's okay with it? WOW...I don't know how I would feel about that I would be furious and I don't think we would be married!  Anyway, a couple of weeks ago Jerry stated that he might be coming in town for Halloween and that he wanted to take me out.  Now, I know I read a lot into things but this just didn't seem too appropriate.  I corrected him and said that we could meet up for lunch or something and he responded that he just wanted to "be with me." Really?  Maybe it's just him using a poor choice of words but it seems like this isn't just a friendly-lets-catch-up kinda meeting...which is all that I'm down for.  But to make matters worse, I put up a random status about a football game and he commented with a borderline inappropriate comment (one that if it weren't directed towards someone who didn't have the history that we had, it MIGHT be okay). I put up another status about needing to get away and it seemed like he was borderline offended when I said no to his suggestion that I come to his town (where planes don't even fly).  (You know what I mean...when someone makes a half-serious/half-joke statement and when you respond, if it's not in their favor then they were joking and you took it too seriously? was those kind of responses) Anyway, I brushed him  it off and decided to start making some changes to my FB settings. 

Needless to say, Jerry is well on his way to being taken off the FB friends list altogether and on to the "Not the one" list.  To be completely honest, at first I did have one of those "nana-nana-boo-boo" moments where I was like now you see what you missed out on, but now i'm at the "really? you're a 32 year old man who obviously hasn't grown all the way up yet" point.  Oh well, I'll update y'all and let you know what my final decision is.  I just hope that I'm not blowing it all out of know?


  1. Wow, your story sounds similar to mine that I had a few years ago. Well, come to think of it your story is all too familar for a lot of women. Please check out my blog "Exes, exes, read all about it!" at

    Oh, I have two blogs. One at and one with a friend where you'll find the blog. I'd love to have you follow both! I got your link through A'Drian.

  2. Isn't this crazy? I'm checking it out now...A'Drian is the best, huh?