Last Thursday, I had the pleasure of attending Cupid's Cousin's "The Missing Piece" event. It was so wonderful and refreshing to be able to go to an event where there weren't a bunch of old men looking for some young, fresh meat. The crowd was diverse, the dj was nice, and all in all I would say that the night was an all around success. The event coordinators had the genius idea to have every female wear a small lock around their neck and to have the guys wear a key around their wrist. The object of the exercise was to go around and have a conversation to find "the missing piece." Every lock had two keys that matched. Initially, I was a little reserved. I mean, what exactly was I supposed to say? "Hey, does your key fit in my lock?" Well I decided that the first step was to just say "Hi!" and let the conversation go wherever from there. To my surprise, it worked! I met a lot of great people and I was even invited to another party by one of the guys that I met. Although I saw a lot of college friends there, I also had the opportunity to network with other young professionals around the city. I really appreciate the time and effort that the ladies of Cupid's Cousin put into this event and I can't wait for the next one.
Unfortunately, the guy who held the key to my lock left just before I did so I didn't have the chance to meet him. But maybe our paths will cross again and he'll be at the next event.
I strongly suggest that you visit http://www.cupidscousinagency.com/ if you are interested in attending any events or if you want more information about the agency.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
"Let's Try This Ooooone More Time..."
It's so crazy how the weirdest things always happen to me. Sometimes so weird to where I think about if I was being told some of the stories that I tell my friends (and blog readers), I probably wouldn't believe it. But the killing part is that every one of my stories are true and at least one (sometimes two) of my friends can vouch for me. Well...last Saturday was one of those times.
So last weekend was sooo crazy! I had so much to do and not enough hours in the day to do it. After I left my grandmother's program at church, I went by the Sprint store to transfer my numbers from my old phone into my new phone. So I'm sitting and waiting for the service tech to bring me my phone when this random guy starts talking to me. Now, I'm my grandfather's child so I'll sit and talk to anyone. So we are sitting and he asks me what I do and then he starts telling me about his daughter and how she's trying to set up a non-profit.(I promise, at times, telling someone that you work for a non-profit is like telling someone that you're a producer/AR rep/tv producer, etc. They feel the need to start telling you all of their ideas and asking for all types of things! But anyways...) So then he asks if I'm married (Umm...sir. Your wedding band is still on your finger. Are you really trying to go there?) I reply "No", he then asks "boyfriend?" and I reply, "Not yet". So then he goes in for the kill! "I have a coworker who used to play basketball overseas and I think that you two should meet." (Umm...excuse me? Is this total stranger really trying to set me up on a blind date? Who does that?) He leaves the store, I get my phone, and that was supposed to be the end.
Or so I thought...about 2 days later I get a Facebook message from the guy from the Sprint Store. (I should've used my alias, Nia.) He starts telling me about his friend and asks for my number. I think about it and I'm like "Hmm...why not? I'm not getting anywhere by meeting men on my own." So I politely tell him that I'm not giving him my phone number but that his friend can email me. Then I give him the email that I normally use for club promoters and spam. lol So the guy emails me and he uses "converse" instead of "conversate" (CHECK) and he seems to be pretty intelligent (DOUBLE CHECK). He calls and I'm at work so I don't answer. I call back and we have a pretty good conversation. He was funny, educated, nice...all the things that a woman would want except...he is 43! Yes FOURTY-THREE!!! Instantly, I just started playing the part in Daddy's Little Girls when Julia (Gabrielle Union) goes out with the 40 year old who wants to be a rapper who asks for skrimps. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you need to view this...
For some unknown reason his friend thought that I was in my 30's (I don't know how since most people say that I look younger than my age, but he did say something about the way that I carry myself...if that's the case then I guess being mistaken for a woman in her30's isn't all that bad. lol)
Soo last night we go out to eat and I actually had a good time. We had a pretty good conversation and he seems like a really good guy. Things did get a little awkward (for me) when he would make comments about a long term relationship because I kept looking at him like an uncle or someone. I mean, really, the dude is 3 years younger than my mother...I JUST.CANT.DO.IT! So after last night, I had to send the message about being bothered by the age difference and he completely understood (it's kinda hard not to understand when there is a 17 year difference in age). Sucks because maybe if he were younger or I were older, things would be different but oh well!
Bright Side: The entire time that I was at dinner, I kept thinking about the person who he would be perfect for. Hopefully, they're both receptive to the idea and maybe big things can happen for them! **fingers crossed**
So last weekend was sooo crazy! I had so much to do and not enough hours in the day to do it. After I left my grandmother's program at church, I went by the Sprint store to transfer my numbers from my old phone into my new phone. So I'm sitting and waiting for the service tech to bring me my phone when this random guy starts talking to me. Now, I'm my grandfather's child so I'll sit and talk to anyone. So we are sitting and he asks me what I do and then he starts telling me about his daughter and how she's trying to set up a non-profit.(I promise, at times, telling someone that you work for a non-profit is like telling someone that you're a producer/AR rep/tv producer, etc. They feel the need to start telling you all of their ideas and asking for all types of things! But anyways...) So then he asks if I'm married (Umm...sir. Your wedding band is still on your finger. Are you really trying to go there?) I reply "No", he then asks "boyfriend?" and I reply, "Not yet". So then he goes in for the kill! "I have a coworker who used to play basketball overseas and I think that you two should meet." (Umm...excuse me? Is this total stranger really trying to set me up on a blind date? Who does that?) He leaves the store, I get my phone, and that was supposed to be the end.
Or so I thought...about 2 days later I get a Facebook message from the guy from the Sprint Store. (I should've used my alias, Nia.) He starts telling me about his friend and asks for my number. I think about it and I'm like "Hmm...why not? I'm not getting anywhere by meeting men on my own." So I politely tell him that I'm not giving him my phone number but that his friend can email me. Then I give him the email that I normally use for club promoters and spam. lol So the guy emails me and he uses "converse" instead of "conversate" (CHECK) and he seems to be pretty intelligent (DOUBLE CHECK). He calls and I'm at work so I don't answer. I call back and we have a pretty good conversation. He was funny, educated, nice...all the things that a woman would want except...he is 43! Yes FOURTY-THREE!!! Instantly, I just started playing the part in Daddy's Little Girls when Julia (Gabrielle Union) goes out with the 40 year old who wants to be a rapper who asks for skrimps. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you need to view this...
For some unknown reason his friend thought that I was in my 30's (I don't know how since most people say that I look younger than my age, but he did say something about the way that I carry myself...if that's the case then I guess being mistaken for a woman in her30's isn't all that bad. lol)
Soo last night we go out to eat and I actually had a good time. We had a pretty good conversation and he seems like a really good guy. Things did get a little awkward (for me) when he would make comments about a long term relationship because I kept looking at him like an uncle or someone. I mean, really, the dude is 3 years younger than my mother...I JUST.CANT.DO.IT! So after last night, I had to send the message about being bothered by the age difference and he completely understood (it's kinda hard not to understand when there is a 17 year difference in age). Sucks because maybe if he were younger or I were older, things would be different but oh well!
Bright Side: The entire time that I was at dinner, I kept thinking about the person who he would be perfect for. Hopefully, they're both receptive to the idea and maybe big things can happen for them! **fingers crossed**
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
"Always Bet On Black..."
**Disclaimer: No sensitive hearts or minds here. These thoughts are my opinion and if you don't like them...don't read anything past this statement.**
I've always considered myself to be an EOD (Equal Opportunity Dater). Since I have had such bad luck with men of my own race, I have always been open to the option of dating outside my race. I mean...who says that love has to be of a particular race? Isn't love supposed to be blind? With all of this being said, I have to admit that I am somewhat of a hypocrite. Even though I do believe that love should be blind, I do give the occasional side-eye when I see black men with women of another race. (Blame it on the number of recent studies that list all of the many reasons why black women will live a single life...if you don't know what I'm talking about then email me and I'll send you a list of links randomrambler.thebrightside@gmail.com)
I try to live my life the best way I know how. I try to make sure that I am respectful, courteous, and polite to everyone that I come into contact with, and it really eats me up when I come across people who don't practice the same principles. When I actually thought about how I am treated by the men of my own race vs. the men of other races, it kind of changed my view on my dating principles.
For example, just the other week I was on my way to work and I was walking into the door, right behind a guy of a different race. Well when we got to the door, he walked in and let the door close right in front of me. I wasn't 30 feet away or on the phone...I was RIGHT behind him and he let the door just close...in my face. No "I apologize I didn't see you" or anything. Matter-of-face, he did a slight turn right before we went inside the door so I know that he knew that I was right behind him. Talk about a very tense elevator ride. The killing part is that the EXACT same thing happened not more than a couple of hours later as I was walking into my apartment complex. I was soooo furious. To me, it's just common courtesy to hold the door open for a lady. Then today, I was just ready to go off! I had to go pick up about 20 boxes of recycling guides for work. Now, when I was loading the guides into my car from the printer, the printer helped me put them in my car but when I go to my office not one man walked toward me to help me bring the guides into the office. They didn't even ask me if I needed any help. Matter-of-fact, one man looked at me and said "You sure have a lot of boxes there" and kept walking. The guy that was with him did the same. It wasn't until my second trip, that a black man saw me struggling and came to my rescue. (Note: I'm not the damsel in distress type...I will do what I can do on my own. But, I was wearing 3 1/2 in heels and I had on a skirt and the boxes kept falling off the dolly. I was really struggling and they didn't even ask if I needed any type of assistance) He didn't really ask if I needed help, but he just immediately started helping me make sure that the boxes stayed on the dolly, helped me get the dolly in the elevator, then helped me unload the boxes off the dolly. He was a lifesaver.
After this happened, it really made me start to think. I thought back and analyzed how many times something like this happened...a person of a different race did (or didn't do) something that most people consider courteous and a black man just automatically did it. I came to the conclusion that it happened more times than not. Regardless of if he was in a business suit or baggy jeans, mouth full of golds or flashing the pearly whites, muscular or skinny, adult or teenager...it didn't matter because (for me) they were always there to help and it wasn't because they were trying to get my phone number or anything. They just did it with a smile and for a "Thank you." I guess these experiences helped me to I realize how much I should really appreciate black men and how the ones that I've come across (not dating but day to day interactions) should give me more hope that the right one is out there somewhere. I just need to have a little more faith...
I've always considered myself to be an EOD (Equal Opportunity Dater). Since I have had such bad luck with men of my own race, I have always been open to the option of dating outside my race. I mean...who says that love has to be of a particular race? Isn't love supposed to be blind? With all of this being said, I have to admit that I am somewhat of a hypocrite. Even though I do believe that love should be blind, I do give the occasional side-eye when I see black men with women of another race. (Blame it on the number of recent studies that list all of the many reasons why black women will live a single life...if you don't know what I'm talking about then email me and I'll send you a list of links randomrambler.thebrightside@gmail.com)
I try to live my life the best way I know how. I try to make sure that I am respectful, courteous, and polite to everyone that I come into contact with, and it really eats me up when I come across people who don't practice the same principles. When I actually thought about how I am treated by the men of my own race vs. the men of other races, it kind of changed my view on my dating principles.
For example, just the other week I was on my way to work and I was walking into the door, right behind a guy of a different race. Well when we got to the door, he walked in and let the door close right in front of me. I wasn't 30 feet away or on the phone...I was RIGHT behind him and he let the door just close...in my face. No "I apologize I didn't see you" or anything. Matter-of-face, he did a slight turn right before we went inside the door so I know that he knew that I was right behind him. Talk about a very tense elevator ride. The killing part is that the EXACT same thing happened not more than a couple of hours later as I was walking into my apartment complex. I was soooo furious. To me, it's just common courtesy to hold the door open for a lady. Then today, I was just ready to go off! I had to go pick up about 20 boxes of recycling guides for work. Now, when I was loading the guides into my car from the printer, the printer helped me put them in my car but when I go to my office not one man walked toward me to help me bring the guides into the office. They didn't even ask me if I needed any help. Matter-of-fact, one man looked at me and said "You sure have a lot of boxes there" and kept walking. The guy that was with him did the same. It wasn't until my second trip, that a black man saw me struggling and came to my rescue. (Note: I'm not the damsel in distress type...I will do what I can do on my own. But, I was wearing 3 1/2 in heels and I had on a skirt and the boxes kept falling off the dolly. I was really struggling and they didn't even ask if I needed any type of assistance) He didn't really ask if I needed help, but he just immediately started helping me make sure that the boxes stayed on the dolly, helped me get the dolly in the elevator, then helped me unload the boxes off the dolly. He was a lifesaver.
After this happened, it really made me start to think. I thought back and analyzed how many times something like this happened...a person of a different race did (or didn't do) something that most people consider courteous and a black man just automatically did it. I came to the conclusion that it happened more times than not. Regardless of if he was in a business suit or baggy jeans, mouth full of golds or flashing the pearly whites, muscular or skinny, adult or teenager...it didn't matter because (for me) they were always there to help and it wasn't because they were trying to get my phone number or anything. They just did it with a smile and for a "Thank you." I guess these experiences helped me to I realize how much I should really appreciate black men and how the ones that I've come across (not dating but day to day interactions) should give me more hope that the right one is out there somewhere. I just need to have a little more faith...
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