I was determined to get this post done by the end of this week, so I'm sitting under the dryer at the beauty shop (I'm going 100% natural y'all...we'll see how this goes) trying to think of the best way to tell this story. But, I figure that the best way is to tell it the way that I always share my experiences...in my own (special) words.
Background:
In high school, there was a guy that I was in a relationship with for 5 years. He was older than me, but that didn't seem to matter to him. No, our relationship was not a physical one...at all. Well 4 1/2 years into the relationship (and 2 mos into the second semester of my freshman year in college), I called him up just to chat and the conversation went like this...
Ring, ring...ring, ring
(woman's voice) Hello?
M: (confused and dumfounded): May I speak to "Jerry"?
Unknown Woman (UW): Who is this?
M: This is J's girlfriend, who are you?
UW: J and I have a 2 year old daughter together and we're getting married (I don't know what else she said because all I heard was my world crashing down)
(cue sound of heart dropping to the floor and shattering into a thousand pieces)
M: Let me speak to him.
(cue UW's ghetto voice screaming at the top of the lungs trying to wake J up)
Jerry: Hello?
M: What the (insert expletives here) is going on?
J: click (phone goes dead)
I try and try to call J back but he was busted and decided that he didn't want to confront the truth. But me being the "Persistent Pattie" that I am...one day (4 mos later) while on my summer internship, I took it upon myself to make a long-distance (international type long distance...like Iceland long distance) phone call to get to the bottom of things. I googled the Naval dental clinic in Iceland and made the call, asked for him, and guess what?!?!? Yep, he came to the phone (Sherlock Holmes has NOTHING on me!). I could hear his face cracking from Iceland when he heard my voice speaking. I didn't get much accomplished during that phone call. Thinking back on it, I don't even know what my goal was...I guess closure. I spoke my peace but it didn't change anything. I just kept going on with my life
J and I had a couple of conversations since that Summer of 2002, he asked to come back, I told him no, he actually asked for forgiveness, I gave it to him (not for me...but for him. I had let that go back a long time ago). Now, we're at a point where we can be cool (not friends, but cool)
Fast Forward 8 years: Jerry and I are Facebook friends. Every now and again we catch each other on FB chat and have "catch-up" conversations. (You know...how's your mom, your brother, etc.) Well, some kinda way Jerry brings up how sorry he is for 8 years ago and how I should be his wife (mind you, Jerry now has a wife of a couple of years and like 3 or 4 kids). I will admit that I have asked a couple of questions about what happened then, but I'm not holding any hard feelings or any grudges...i'm just curious to know about the details that I didn't get back then. But, sometimes the conversation with Jerry can get kinda weird. One time I ask if his wife knew that he was communicating with me and he said "yes, she knows how I feel about you..." STOP she knows how you feel about me...shouldn't that read "felt"? and she's okay with it? WOW...I don't know how I would feel about that I would be furious and I don't think we would be married! Anyway, a couple of weeks ago Jerry stated that he might be coming in town for Halloween and that he wanted to take me out. Now, I know I read a lot into things but this just didn't seem too appropriate. I corrected him and said that we could meet up for lunch or something and he responded that he just wanted to "be with me." Really? Maybe it's just him using a poor choice of words but it seems like this isn't just a friendly-lets-catch-up kinda meeting...which is all that I'm down for. But to make matters worse, I put up a random status about a football game and he commented with a borderline inappropriate comment (one that if it weren't directed towards someone who didn't have the history that we had, it MIGHT be okay). I put up another status about needing to get away and it seemed like he was borderline offended when I said no to his suggestion that I come to his town (where planes don't even fly). (You know what I mean...when someone makes a half-serious/half-joke statement and when you respond, if it's not in their favor then they were joking and you took it too seriously? yea...it was those kind of responses) Anyway, I brushed him it off and decided to start making some changes to my FB settings.
Needless to say, Jerry is well on his way to being taken off the FB friends list altogether and on to the "Not the one" list. To be completely honest, at first I did have one of those "nana-nana-boo-boo" moments where I was like now you see what you missed out on, but now i'm at the "really? you're a 32 year old man who obviously hasn't grown all the way up yet" point. Oh well, I'll update y'all and let you know what my final decision is. I just hope that I'm not blowing it all out of proportion...you know?
Okay, so maybe I should change this to "(when remembered) I don't make promises that I can't keep" because I sure did forget to do this post on Friday. In my defense, I was at Homecoming from Thursday - Sunday and there was A LOT going on this weekend...I even came back with a cold. But anyway, let's get to these updates (I linked the titles to the post in case you need to refresh your memory...because I sure did! lol)...
THE MAN WITH A THOUSAND QUESTIONS -
After the guy and I went out on the lunch outing, he text and tried to hang out again, but I simply wasn't feeling him in that way. After our conversation at lunch (and my feelings on not wanting to anyone to lead me on) I felt it necessary to let him know that I just wasn't interested in him in that way. I told him that we could be friends, but that was all. He understood. Lesson Learned: It all goes back to "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." No one wants someone to string them along, so as scary as it may seem, you have to let people know the truth so that you are not wasting their time or yours.
GREAT EXPECTATIONS -
O-to the freakin-M-G! Let me tell y'all about this ninja here! So this is what I mean about wasting someone's time. So on the date, I had a really good time. The interaction, the conversation, just everything. So the last that I shared was that he asked me out again but I didn't hear from him. Well...a mutual friend decided that this wasn't acceptable so she went and asked him what happened. Weeeeeeell, she called him to ask what the issue was and he was like I wasn't the type of female that he normally dates (cool with me because in my best Jay Z/Beyonce voice "It ain't for everybody"), but then he goes on to express how much he wants her to give him a chance. (Yep..he said that) Now, it wasn't the fact that he wanted to pursue something with my friend, but I was trying to figure out why in the world he asked me out knowing that his fire was burning for someone else. It made no sense to me at all! Well, she explained that her interest in him was limited to just a friendship and that he shouldn't have asked me out (on not one, but 2 dates), if he wasn't really interested. Men.
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU DO WITH IT -
...absolutely nothing. We've spoken via text and facebook twice since the date night, but that was it. He's been travelling with work, and I've been doing the whole school-work thing, but to be honest I don't think that is it. I think it's more that we are in two different places and that's it.
TOLD YA SO (UPDATE) -
Yes, this ninja felt it necessary to text me Fourth of July weekend at 3 in the dang morning and then called after I didn't respond to the text. He then called later that night and when I started to go off...he hung up the phone. Really? (Yes, really!) Then if that wasn't enough he called and text me in August. That time, I didn't respond to either. I just rolled over and went back to sleep. The next morning, I went to Sprint online and found a way to block all communication! THANK GOODNESS! I just don't understand how some people don't get it.
So...yeah. That's what's come of those posts...I don't like to think of them as un-happy endings, but as to be continued's or room for improvement's. We'll see what else life has in store for me...
Good Afternoon! I know that I need to catch up on my blogging, but I will have an updates post up on Friday.
If you don't know, I'm in love with all things Essence. Every Wednesday, I make it a point to visit the site to read the "Balancing Act" online article. They have different posts from women sharing about not appreciating their skin color growing up to women sharing about being divorced at a young age. Regardless of the subject, I always get something from the stories that are shared. This Wednesday, the story relates to my last post so I felt like I should share...
Enjoy and remember to keep looking for The Bright Side...
P.S. I PROMISE (and I don't believe in making promises that I can not keep) to have a new post up on Friday...I'm going to update you on a couple of the "prospects."
