The Adventures of Rick (Part III)

Happy Friday!  I believe the last I blogged, I alluded to Rick reaching out and contacting me.  This is what happened...

A couple of months ago, I was walking in the tunnel (a place in Downtown Houston that is underground and filled with restaurants and shops) and I happened to run into a good friend of mine...we'll call him Paul.  Now, Paul and I "talked/dated" many moons ago but we're still pretty good friends.  Paul was talking to some friends when I spoke and he started walking with me in the tunnel since we were going the same way.  Apparently while we were walking, Rick saw us.  (You know how you just have a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you're going to see someone that you know...I had that feeling as soon as Paul and I started walking together.)  I just knew that we were going to run into Rick, but it didn't matter to me because Rick "dropped his dime".  Paul and I go to our respective lunch choices and that was it.

A couple of weeks later, I was walking in the tunnel again with one of our interns and Rick walks up on the side of me and speaks.  When I get back to my desk, I receive a text from Rick saying that he didn't know how things went sour between us but that I looked nice, blah, blah, blah.  Funny, right?  The thing is that things weren't "sour", I just stopped putting effort into something that he wasn't investing any energy too.  I politely explained my stance and how I'd given him a warning that I wasn't going to chase or nag him about anything...I was going to just move around.  Rick wasted no time telling me that he saw me walking with Paul and that I ignored him.  I didn't even see him!  I just nicely explained that if he would've been doing what he was supposed to do, I would've been walking with him.  He understood and I can say that things have been going a lot better. 

Bright Side:  Things with Rick are still...developing.  His communication is a lot better and we've hung out a lot more frequently than before.  I have been doing a lot better at being more flexible and going with the flow (which is a huge accomplishment for me).  We'll see where this friendship goes...

Stay tuned to next week...my friend/line sister has a very interesting Saturday night planned for me.

The Adventures of Rick (Part Two)

 

So last you read, Rick & I exchanged numbers.  On that following Monday, Rick and I conversed (via text) throughout the day and he made me laugh...a lot!  Normally, I prefer a mix of actual phone conversations and texts, but we were both at work so it was cool.  I learned that he was 25 (OMG I felt like Stella).  I was a little concerned about that 4 year difference because at this point in our lives, 4 years is a big difference when the female is older (in my opinion). It may explain why things happened the way that they happened.  Anyway, the texting continued throughout the week so I decide that enough is enough and I called. When I called, Rick answered and we chatted for about 3-5 minutes before he says that he's going into the store and he'll call me back.  Now, I talk on the phone wherever I am so this raises a bit my brow a bit...especially when he never called back (STRIKE 1).  I keep it moving with my expectations being pretty low for the survival of this "situation".  A connect hooked me and a friend up with some tickets to a music event the next Friday.  I'd already asked Rick if he wanted to go because one of the performers was one of his favs.  Friday comes up and I don't hear from Rick at all.  I called and text him but no answer.  At this point I'm getting pretty pissed because I could've asked someone else to come with me.  About 30 mins before the first act hits the stage, I get a call from Rick saying that he was sleep, he forgot, but he'll be on his way.  So now let's add irritated to pissed and you get me.  Luckily, my friend and her sister were there and they kept me laughing the entire time.  Finally, Rick makes his way to the venue and I give him his pass to get in.  When we get to our section, things go a lot better.  My friend's sister starts asking Rick questions and he's a good sport while answering them.  This is pretty great since my friends have been known to go into interrogation mode, so it's good that his skin is thick enough to handle meeting them in the future (if there is a future).  So the whole time that we're listening to the music, Rick is flirting and saying things that should make me go all "goo-goo eyed", but I'm all about the action.  The subject came up about communication and I expressed that I need a combination of seeing, speaking, and texting.  At the end of the night, my friend left with her sister a little early so Rick drove me to my office to pick up my car.  My keys were on my desk, so I thought that Rick was going to just drop me off at the door to my office. Instead, he drove me down and into the garage. I was super surprised to see him still there when I came out of the building.  I thought it was super sweet that he waited until I got into my car safely before he followed me out.  (Forget swag, I'm a sucker for a true gentleman...with nice arms and a great smile!)

So, another week goes by with no initiation of communication by him (STRIKE 2).  It started to seem that I was the only the one that's really putting in work and I'm starting to get bored with this situation.  My relationship philosophy is the way things start are the way things finish.  I don't know if Rick started feeling my vibe, but he asked me to lunch the next week.  We met up for lunch and it went pretty well. I think that Rick was a bit irritated with me because I paid for my own food.  I usually stick with the philosophy that whoever asked, pays but I've been in more than one situation where I let the guy go to the window first and the horrible words "one please!" were uttered.  So I wouldn't have to endure that again, I just pulled out my card and paid for my food.  After lunch, we walked around a bit and he dropped me off at my office and I went inside. On our walk back from lunch, we were just talking and somehow my dating/life philosophies came up.  I mentioned (again) my unwillingness to chase men and that I'll express my needs once or twice but I won't nag anyone.  I have the courtesy to listen to the needs of others so I expect the same in return.  I also mentioned that although my life can be a whirlwind of events, works, community service, and family/friend obligations, I make time for who/what I want to make time for.  Rick asked if I would make time for him and my response was "sure". 

The final straw was when I called Rick the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend to see if he wanted to catch the Motown Review at Miller Outdoor Theatre.  He didn't answer so I left a nice voicemail. Rick never responded...no text, return phone call, smoke signal, email, NADA (STRIKE 3)!  I was done! At that point I decided that I didn't have time for someone who doesn't have time for me.  If someone is interested, then they make it known.  They want to spend time with you and they want to talk to you on a regular basis, not just for a hour of lunch every now again.  If that's what the offer is on the table, I'll leave it.

Bright Side:  Maybe it's just me, but the first days that you meet and are interacting with someone is supposed to be the honeymoon period.  You know, it's when you text all day then talk on the phone for hours.  He asks you out on dates and you hang out all the time.  I know this isn't with everyone that you meet, but when someone talks a big game about how much they like you and blah, blah, blah this is what you'd expect...or am I missing something? Well I kept to my word and stopped initiating contact with Rick.  My time is way too valuable to be giving it way to someone who doesn't understand the concept of reciprocity.  I deserve and demand way more than that! Funny thing is that someone who was so "into" me, he didn't decide to reach out until 2 months later...but you'll get that story next Monday!

The Adventures of Rick (Part I)

Hey guys, I'm back and hopefully won't take such a long hiatus next time. Well I just turned the big 3-0 and I'm trying to learn to be a bit more consistent in my life.  I love blogging and having an outlet to share my random thoughts and experiences but sometimes I can let life stop my progress. Anywho, I have both a random thought and experience to share today!

A couple of months ago my aunt organized a volunteer outing for our church at the Houston Food Bank.  While there, I couldn't help but notice one of the guys in our group (probably because he was the only one who looked under 50, was taller than me, and had all of his teeth).  I kept an eye on our distance from each other throughout our experience, but the opportunity never came up to say "hi" or play the damsel in distress role.  Our volunteer shift was coming to an end and I started to give up hope.  When the staff instructed us to go into the debriefing room, I gave up and walked over to the sink to wash my hands.  While mentally singing my ABC's while I washed my hands, guess who walked up to the sink to do the same?! Yep, it was Rick! 

Since this was probably my only time I had to say something or forever hold my peace. I put my big girl panties on and just offered a simple "Hi, how are you?" Attached to the best smile that I could put on after having only a hr of sleep (another long story).  He offered up a very nice smile himself, and responded "I'm doing pretty good and yourself?"  I answered and he asked a few follow up questions, then our conversation was over.  Although nothing was exchanged, I felt pretty good about myself for stepping out and starting up a conversation with him.  So, lets fast forward passed the accolades given in the debriefing room and let's go to checkout.  I was walking around trying to get pictures and information from my group so I was walking in and out of the facility (partly because Rick was standing in line to check out of the volunteer line).  I still kept my eye on Rick so that I could offer up an extra pep in my step when he was close.  By the time I go back up to the front of the lobby, he had already finished checking out. Oh well! I was already comfortable with my progress.  With my head held high I walk out and I see this gray sports car pulling up to the corner and in the back of my mind I'm like..."I hope this is him"! The window rolls down and Yep! It is!  He says that he's interested in getting to know me better and then asks for my number.  We exchanged numbers and I went on about my business now with a reason for the extra pep in step!  

I'll fill you in on what happened next! 

Bright Side: At close to 30 years old, I'm finally coming into my own and going for what I want.  I'm really excited about the possibilities, but I'm trying to keep my expectations realistic and low. We all know how I am with those.

The DC Liar

 

Happy New Year! What's going on? I know that it's been a while since my last post, but the end of 2012 was uber crazy for me. I have, however, set a goal to open my calendar up to events outside of work or the other family/friend commitments that I'm obligated to attend. I started working on this goal before the holidays but i'll share that with y'all in another post. This post is dedicated to Ted. If you don't remember Ted, just go on over to "The Contradiction Personified".

Last I blogged, Ted and I went out and I wasn't sure what was going to happen next. That post was in July so we'll fast forward to the end of Sept. So I'm in DC to handle some work stuff and like anyone else, I post it on Facebook that I've just touched down in the city. Now...I hadn't really spoken to Ted since our outing so imagine my surprise when I get a text from him a few hours later just saying "Hey, What's up?" We start chit-chatting and I state what he's obviously already read in my status and he mentions that he's just landed too. (Funny thing is that we were almost on the exact same flight! Ha!). Anyway, the next evening he asks if I'm going to any of the parties/dinners/cocktail events that some of the offices are having around the city, and I respond that I've made plans with a girlfriend of mine who lives there. The next day he hits me up about a meeting and after going back and forth for over a hour about that and a few other things, I suggest that we meet up at some point since we're in the same city and he agrees. He gives me his immediate plans and I tell him that iI'l contact him when we finish our meetings.

Ted then texts me about every hour to a hour and a half after that to see where we are and what our plans are. When we finally get back to our hotel, I reached out to let him know that we're back and that we were about to start making moves. After my friends and I settle on a place to eat, I tell Ted and he says that he's back at his hotel. I ask him if he's in for the night (since he's been texting me about where we're going to be for the past 3 hours) and guess what he says... Ted says no, he's waiting for his girlfriend to get back to the hotel. [Yes...you read correctly, this ninja said his GIRLFRIEND! Umm...I'm thinking that maybe I missed something so I got a 2nd & 3rd opinion and both said that I wasn't tripping.] I ended up just hitting him back with a "that's cool" and kept it moving. Where was this girlfriend while we were texting until after 2a on the first night and all day the next day? Ninjas!

The situation wasn't worth more than that response. Because this city is so small and our careers are closely related, we've crossed paths again but I don't give him any more or less attention than I give anyone else. Well...that's a lie because he gets a straight face and a dry tone. I'm not rude but I'm definitely not extra.

Bright Side: Even though I was a little taken back by this situation with Ted in DC, I feel like I handled it properly. In my profession, you never know who's connected with who and you don't want to burn any bridges. Ehh...growing up is hard to do!