The DC Liar

 

Happy New Year! What's going on? I know that it's been a while since my last post, but the end of 2012 was uber crazy for me. I have, however, set a goal to open my calendar up to events outside of work or the other family/friend commitments that I'm obligated to attend. I started working on this goal before the holidays but i'll share that with y'all in another post. This post is dedicated to Ted. If you don't remember Ted, just go on over to "The Contradiction Personified".

Last I blogged, Ted and I went out and I wasn't sure what was going to happen next. That post was in July so we'll fast forward to the end of Sept. So I'm in DC to handle some work stuff and like anyone else, I post it on Facebook that I've just touched down in the city. Now...I hadn't really spoken to Ted since our outing so imagine my surprise when I get a text from him a few hours later just saying "Hey, What's up?" We start chit-chatting and I state what he's obviously already read in my status and he mentions that he's just landed too. (Funny thing is that we were almost on the exact same flight! Ha!). Anyway, the next evening he asks if I'm going to any of the parties/dinners/cocktail events that some of the offices are having around the city, and I respond that I've made plans with a girlfriend of mine who lives there. The next day he hits me up about a meeting and after going back and forth for over a hour about that and a few other things, I suggest that we meet up at some point since we're in the same city and he agrees. He gives me his immediate plans and I tell him that iI'l contact him when we finish our meetings.

Ted then texts me about every hour to a hour and a half after that to see where we are and what our plans are. When we finally get back to our hotel, I reached out to let him know that we're back and that we were about to start making moves. After my friends and I settle on a place to eat, I tell Ted and he says that he's back at his hotel. I ask him if he's in for the night (since he's been texting me about where we're going to be for the past 3 hours) and guess what he says... Ted says no, he's waiting for his girlfriend to get back to the hotel. [Yes...you read correctly, this ninja said his GIRLFRIEND! Umm...I'm thinking that maybe I missed something so I got a 2nd & 3rd opinion and both said that I wasn't tripping.] I ended up just hitting him back with a "that's cool" and kept it moving. Where was this girlfriend while we were texting until after 2a on the first night and all day the next day? Ninjas!

The situation wasn't worth more than that response. Because this city is so small and our careers are closely related, we've crossed paths again but I don't give him any more or less attention than I give anyone else. Well...that's a lie because he gets a straight face and a dry tone. I'm not rude but I'm definitely not extra.

Bright Side: Even though I was a little taken back by this situation with Ted in DC, I feel like I handled it properly. In my profession, you never know who's connected with who and you don't want to burn any bridges. Ehh...growing up is hard to do!

The Contradiction Personified

(Note: This song is not related to what I'm writing about but as I was writing it popped into my head...I just love it because it's weird "They want their daddy...I'm not their daddy" lol)

So I'm in bed trying to calm my mind so that I can finally get to bed before midnight (I need at least 8 hours of sleep or I'll be in a serious fight with time and my alarm clock in the morning). Let's just say that I #fail at this challenge every night. Tonight, I have the pleasure of hearing Stevie Wonder's "Knocks Me Off My Feet" playing on repeat and an unsuccessful hang-out/date/I don't know what it was haunting my thoughts. Now I know that I haven't written a post in a while but I've had a lot going on and with everything floating around in my head, I figured what better time to jump back into it than tonight?  Time to put the tv on mute, turn on iTunes, and start the 16K song shuffle so I can share my thoughts. Let's get it...

Like I said before, I went to go hang-out with someone (let's call him "Ted") this weekend. [To me] Ted was cool. We had things in common and I wasn't looking for a way to escape after the first 15 minutes of  talking to him, which is always good for me. (It's sad to say, but that's the way most of my hang-outs/dates/I don't know what this is go.  I have an uber short attention span and it's even shorter for the foolish, hence the reason why I haven't posted in so long). Before going out with Ted, I knew that he had potential. He seemed (not saying that he isn't...I just haven't been around him enough to verify my initial assessment) to be good people. I won't go into the details of the afternoon, but I will say that I left the table thinking that it was a good time until we are leaving and Ted 1). Asks me where my car is, says that his is the opposite way, and then proceeds to walk to his car. (Uhh...a sista can't get a walk to the car that's only 5 cars down? lol o...k) and 2). It's just the "Talk to you later". No mention of doing it again or anything. So y'all know me, I start going into immediate self-preservation mode. This obviously has to translate into he isn't feeling me so it's time for the automatic shut-down...right? Not quite. (There's more to the story, but I have other things to discuss)

So...I started thinking (translation: over analyzing) about the time that we spent talking and the conversation. I came to the conclusion that I am a HORRIBLE first-dater because I'm basically a walking contradiction. Not on purpose, but that's just me! The people, who know me, know how to navigate these waters but what does it tell someone who I'm just meeting that I am actually interested in (and not just hanging out with because I have a free space on my calendar)? For example, I'm an extrovert. I love people, I love being around people, even when I feel like I'm at -0%, when I walk into the crowd my levels rise. (For some reason Ted thought that I didn't know the definition of an extrovert v. an introvert and I had to keep my facial expressions under control when he decided to give me the definition. But I digress...) But I'm also completely comfortable being alone and I need (and prefer) having space/alone time pretty often. Didn't get the point? Let's try another example: I'm equally as guarded as I am open. It's confusing...I know! You know those personality tests that you take during seminars, retreats, etc. where you answer a serious of questions and it's supposed to tell you if you're an otter, a dolphin, a monkey, a walrus, a lion, or a Tyrannosaurus Rex (I know I messed that all up...but you get the point!)? My results are always 3 out of the 4 and they are all usually within 1-2 points of each other.  I like to think of myself as being...well...complex.

Then it got me to thinking about past interactions and what this communicates to others. I remember my neighbor once told me that I was confusing because at the early part of our conversation I responded one way then later responded another (but both responses were equally true). I understand it, but the question is how do you get past it? How exactly do you respond when someone asks you to tell them about yourself when you have truths that are two different extremes? It's kinda tricky to communicate this verbally when it's something that usually just "clicks" when they are around me long enough. And how do you get past the "she must be saying what she thinks I want to hear" to the "Eureka! She just possesses both characteristics equally"?

Bright Side: I guess eventually someone will get it...I'm not sure if Ted got it during our first real conversation (and by the way the afternoon/follow up email ended, I'm not sure if he's interested in learning this through interaction).  Ah well!
I told you...I just needed to put my thoughts out there before I end up staying up till the wee hours thinking about something that's already passed. I'm sure I'll get it figured out...just not tonight.

Google Me...

So my stolen sister and I were on our way to a baseball game last night and I told her about my idea for a blog topic.  I explained how I've been chastised for wanting to know too much too soon about potentials instead of just going with the flow.  Let me explain...if I meet a guy through a friend or on my own, we usually exchange first and last names.  If I find myself interested in the guy's conversation (and appearance), I start verifying information via Google, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.  Personally, I don't see anything wrong with putting someone through a vetting process to see if they're worth the time and energy.  Now, I don't interrupt the person when they're telling me about themselves with "Oh, I already know that" or "Yeah, I read that on your Facebook".  I also don't go into some stalker-type research.  I look verify that the information that they've shared with me is the correct information and that they aren't on America's Most Wanted, married/engaged/in a relationship, or have 30 kids (don't act like this isn't possible).  I'm just curious to see what comes up when I put your name into Google and I'm sure that it's quite possible that he might do the same thing with me (which is why I try to be mindful of what I post and what pictures I take).

Bright Side:  Like I said, I don't get stalkerish with it, looking for addresses and the such, I just want to make sure that this person is who they say that they are.  I also am well aware that just because their words match their postings doesn't mean that we're going to be a match and things will end as a fairy tale.  I just want to have my eyes as open as I possibly can...