The Potential and Possibilities...

I know that I've been pretty MIA, but life has been super busy.  This hasn't stopped my dating life, but it's hard to stop myself and make myself chronicle this journey.  Life still hasn't slowed down, but I have so many updates, stories, and experiences that my mind is about to bust!  Let's start with an update on the Rick Chronicles.

I believe that the last thing that I blogged about was Rick approaching me again and that things were going better.  Well I can sum this post up pretty quickly...Rick is outta there! For about a month or so Rick and I were communicating pretty regularly.  Now, the only time that I'd really see Rick was when we passed each other in the tunnel or on the rare occasion that he'd ask me to lunch.  He did attend an event that I was planning, but we still hadn't been on an actual date.  Personally, I didnt think that this was normal (or ok), but my love guru friend told me to chill out and just ride the wave. Well I tried not to overthink things too much but it got to a point where I really felt like I was wasting my time.

One day I saw Rick in the tunnel and motioned for him to come by my table so that I could deliver the news that it just wasn't going to work out.  (Side Bar: After speaking with some friends about the situation, they thought that it wasn't necessary for me to have that conversation, but I like to be on the same page with ppl.  I try to extend the same courtesy to others as I would like for them to extend to me.). He came by the table and looked pretty hurt when I delivered the news that I would rather that we just be friends.  A few days later we ended up having a conversation about everything and we started communicating again.  Fast Forward to later in the month.  Rick asked me to lunch and while he walked me back to my office, we were talking about a retreat that I was attending that weekend.  That night, Rick and I were supposed to hang out after work.  I went by my cousin's house to hang out with her and her new baby and it started to get late.  I called Rick to see what was going on and he didn't answer.  I waited at my cousin's home a little bit longer and I still hadn't heard anything from him.  When I'd finally decided to leave her house and head home, Rick calls and gives me some lame excuse about how he'd forgotten his phone at home while he was at the gym and that he'd make it up to me when I made it back from my retreat.  **super side eye**

On the Saturday of my retreat, I sent Rick a "Good Luck" text because he was running his first 5K.  Usually he responds pretty quickly, but this time he didn't respond until later that evening.  While I was scrolling down the pages of my Instagram page, what do I see?  It's a photo collage of Rick with his family and hugged up with a female.  Now, I don't see many of my guy friends hugged up with a female at a family event unless that female is someone that they're "with" AND these weren't just group pictures but pictures with couples (I.e. Mom and Dad, Aunt and Uncle, Him and Female, etc.). Oh really?  I get back on Sunday and Rick has an attitude and cancels the plan (I saw that coming), Monday - same attitude.  The next Sunday pops up a picture of him and the same girl and another couple at the Texans game. Needless to say...Rick is deleted.

Fast Forward to a few weeks later and I'm at the Rockets game, enjoying my time with my aunt.  My phone rings and I answer.  Why is Rick calling me and asking me where I'm sitting?  Then he asks if I'm here with a guy.  Really...is that how we're going to play this?  So I politely explain that he has no right or reason to ask me that, especially in light of his recent IG posts.  So then he says that he was just checking up on me.  I extra-politely let him know that he doesn't have to do that and then I believe that I hung up the phone.  I'm sure that I could've handled that a lot more maturely but I was in the moment and extremely insulted. Insulted that this man had the audacity to "check-in" on me like I was supposed to be good with him after he treated me like...dung.  No sir, I'm good!

Bright Side: I conducted a small investigation and found out that the girl was/is his girlfriend from college.  Did that make me feel better about the situation? Nope, it didn't...it actually made me feel a little worse.  Anywho, I got over it and I'm a little stronger for it.  With Rick, I learned that it's ok to let your guard down a bit.  I can admit my faults and say that when things weren't going the way that I felt that they should have been going, I didn't hesitate to make that known.  Instead of being so caught up in the potential and possibilities of Me and Rick, I should've paid more attention to reality and his actions.  Work in Progress.

The Adventures of Rick (Part III)

Happy Friday!  I believe the last I blogged, I alluded to Rick reaching out and contacting me.  This is what happened...

A couple of months ago, I was walking in the tunnel (a place in Downtown Houston that is underground and filled with restaurants and shops) and I happened to run into a good friend of mine...we'll call him Paul.  Now, Paul and I "talked/dated" many moons ago but we're still pretty good friends.  Paul was talking to some friends when I spoke and he started walking with me in the tunnel since we were going the same way.  Apparently while we were walking, Rick saw us.  (You know how you just have a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you're going to see someone that you know...I had that feeling as soon as Paul and I started walking together.)  I just knew that we were going to run into Rick, but it didn't matter to me because Rick "dropped his dime".  Paul and I go to our respective lunch choices and that was it.

A couple of weeks later, I was walking in the tunnel again with one of our interns and Rick walks up on the side of me and speaks.  When I get back to my desk, I receive a text from Rick saying that he didn't know how things went sour between us but that I looked nice, blah, blah, blah.  Funny, right?  The thing is that things weren't "sour", I just stopped putting effort into something that he wasn't investing any energy too.  I politely explained my stance and how I'd given him a warning that I wasn't going to chase or nag him about anything...I was going to just move around.  Rick wasted no time telling me that he saw me walking with Paul and that I ignored him.  I didn't even see him!  I just nicely explained that if he would've been doing what he was supposed to do, I would've been walking with him.  He understood and I can say that things have been going a lot better. 

Bright Side:  Things with Rick are still...developing.  His communication is a lot better and we've hung out a lot more frequently than before.  I have been doing a lot better at being more flexible and going with the flow (which is a huge accomplishment for me).  We'll see where this friendship goes...

Stay tuned to next week...my friend/line sister has a very interesting Saturday night planned for me.

The Adventures of Rick (Part Two)

 

So last you read, Rick & I exchanged numbers.  On that following Monday, Rick and I conversed (via text) throughout the day and he made me laugh...a lot!  Normally, I prefer a mix of actual phone conversations and texts, but we were both at work so it was cool.  I learned that he was 25 (OMG I felt like Stella).  I was a little concerned about that 4 year difference because at this point in our lives, 4 years is a big difference when the female is older (in my opinion). It may explain why things happened the way that they happened.  Anyway, the texting continued throughout the week so I decide that enough is enough and I called. When I called, Rick answered and we chatted for about 3-5 minutes before he says that he's going into the store and he'll call me back.  Now, I talk on the phone wherever I am so this raises a bit my brow a bit...especially when he never called back (STRIKE 1).  I keep it moving with my expectations being pretty low for the survival of this "situation".  A connect hooked me and a friend up with some tickets to a music event the next Friday.  I'd already asked Rick if he wanted to go because one of the performers was one of his favs.  Friday comes up and I don't hear from Rick at all.  I called and text him but no answer.  At this point I'm getting pretty pissed because I could've asked someone else to come with me.  About 30 mins before the first act hits the stage, I get a call from Rick saying that he was sleep, he forgot, but he'll be on his way.  So now let's add irritated to pissed and you get me.  Luckily, my friend and her sister were there and they kept me laughing the entire time.  Finally, Rick makes his way to the venue and I give him his pass to get in.  When we get to our section, things go a lot better.  My friend's sister starts asking Rick questions and he's a good sport while answering them.  This is pretty great since my friends have been known to go into interrogation mode, so it's good that his skin is thick enough to handle meeting them in the future (if there is a future).  So the whole time that we're listening to the music, Rick is flirting and saying things that should make me go all "goo-goo eyed", but I'm all about the action.  The subject came up about communication and I expressed that I need a combination of seeing, speaking, and texting.  At the end of the night, my friend left with her sister a little early so Rick drove me to my office to pick up my car.  My keys were on my desk, so I thought that Rick was going to just drop me off at the door to my office. Instead, he drove me down and into the garage. I was super surprised to see him still there when I came out of the building.  I thought it was super sweet that he waited until I got into my car safely before he followed me out.  (Forget swag, I'm a sucker for a true gentleman...with nice arms and a great smile!)

So, another week goes by with no initiation of communication by him (STRIKE 2).  It started to seem that I was the only the one that's really putting in work and I'm starting to get bored with this situation.  My relationship philosophy is the way things start are the way things finish.  I don't know if Rick started feeling my vibe, but he asked me to lunch the next week.  We met up for lunch and it went pretty well. I think that Rick was a bit irritated with me because I paid for my own food.  I usually stick with the philosophy that whoever asked, pays but I've been in more than one situation where I let the guy go to the window first and the horrible words "one please!" were uttered.  So I wouldn't have to endure that again, I just pulled out my card and paid for my food.  After lunch, we walked around a bit and he dropped me off at my office and I went inside. On our walk back from lunch, we were just talking and somehow my dating/life philosophies came up.  I mentioned (again) my unwillingness to chase men and that I'll express my needs once or twice but I won't nag anyone.  I have the courtesy to listen to the needs of others so I expect the same in return.  I also mentioned that although my life can be a whirlwind of events, works, community service, and family/friend obligations, I make time for who/what I want to make time for.  Rick asked if I would make time for him and my response was "sure". 

The final straw was when I called Rick the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend to see if he wanted to catch the Motown Review at Miller Outdoor Theatre.  He didn't answer so I left a nice voicemail. Rick never responded...no text, return phone call, smoke signal, email, NADA (STRIKE 3)!  I was done! At that point I decided that I didn't have time for someone who doesn't have time for me.  If someone is interested, then they make it known.  They want to spend time with you and they want to talk to you on a regular basis, not just for a hour of lunch every now again.  If that's what the offer is on the table, I'll leave it.

Bright Side:  Maybe it's just me, but the first days that you meet and are interacting with someone is supposed to be the honeymoon period.  You know, it's when you text all day then talk on the phone for hours.  He asks you out on dates and you hang out all the time.  I know this isn't with everyone that you meet, but when someone talks a big game about how much they like you and blah, blah, blah this is what you'd expect...or am I missing something? Well I kept to my word and stopped initiating contact with Rick.  My time is way too valuable to be giving it way to someone who doesn't understand the concept of reciprocity.  I deserve and demand way more than that! Funny thing is that someone who was so "into" me, he didn't decide to reach out until 2 months later...but you'll get that story next Monday!

The Adventures of Rick (Part I)

Hey guys, I'm back and hopefully won't take such a long hiatus next time. Well I just turned the big 3-0 and I'm trying to learn to be a bit more consistent in my life.  I love blogging and having an outlet to share my random thoughts and experiences but sometimes I can let life stop my progress. Anywho, I have both a random thought and experience to share today!

A couple of months ago my aunt organized a volunteer outing for our church at the Houston Food Bank.  While there, I couldn't help but notice one of the guys in our group (probably because he was the only one who looked under 50, was taller than me, and had all of his teeth).  I kept an eye on our distance from each other throughout our experience, but the opportunity never came up to say "hi" or play the damsel in distress role.  Our volunteer shift was coming to an end and I started to give up hope.  When the staff instructed us to go into the debriefing room, I gave up and walked over to the sink to wash my hands.  While mentally singing my ABC's while I washed my hands, guess who walked up to the sink to do the same?! Yep, it was Rick! 

Since this was probably my only time I had to say something or forever hold my peace. I put my big girl panties on and just offered a simple "Hi, how are you?" Attached to the best smile that I could put on after having only a hr of sleep (another long story).  He offered up a very nice smile himself, and responded "I'm doing pretty good and yourself?"  I answered and he asked a few follow up questions, then our conversation was over.  Although nothing was exchanged, I felt pretty good about myself for stepping out and starting up a conversation with him.  So, lets fast forward passed the accolades given in the debriefing room and let's go to checkout.  I was walking around trying to get pictures and information from my group so I was walking in and out of the facility (partly because Rick was standing in line to check out of the volunteer line).  I still kept my eye on Rick so that I could offer up an extra pep in my step when he was close.  By the time I go back up to the front of the lobby, he had already finished checking out. Oh well! I was already comfortable with my progress.  With my head held high I walk out and I see this gray sports car pulling up to the corner and in the back of my mind I'm like..."I hope this is him"! The window rolls down and Yep! It is!  He says that he's interested in getting to know me better and then asks for my number.  We exchanged numbers and I went on about my business now with a reason for the extra pep in step!  

I'll fill you in on what happened next! 

Bright Side: At close to 30 years old, I'm finally coming into my own and going for what I want.  I'm really excited about the possibilities, but I'm trying to keep my expectations realistic and low. We all know how I am with those.

The DC Liar

 

Happy New Year! What's going on? I know that it's been a while since my last post, but the end of 2012 was uber crazy for me. I have, however, set a goal to open my calendar up to events outside of work or the other family/friend commitments that I'm obligated to attend. I started working on this goal before the holidays but i'll share that with y'all in another post. This post is dedicated to Ted. If you don't remember Ted, just go on over to "The Contradiction Personified".

Last I blogged, Ted and I went out and I wasn't sure what was going to happen next. That post was in July so we'll fast forward to the end of Sept. So I'm in DC to handle some work stuff and like anyone else, I post it on Facebook that I've just touched down in the city. Now...I hadn't really spoken to Ted since our outing so imagine my surprise when I get a text from him a few hours later just saying "Hey, What's up?" We start chit-chatting and I state what he's obviously already read in my status and he mentions that he's just landed too. (Funny thing is that we were almost on the exact same flight! Ha!). Anyway, the next evening he asks if I'm going to any of the parties/dinners/cocktail events that some of the offices are having around the city, and I respond that I've made plans with a girlfriend of mine who lives there. The next day he hits me up about a meeting and after going back and forth for over a hour about that and a few other things, I suggest that we meet up at some point since we're in the same city and he agrees. He gives me his immediate plans and I tell him that iI'l contact him when we finish our meetings.

Ted then texts me about every hour to a hour and a half after that to see where we are and what our plans are. When we finally get back to our hotel, I reached out to let him know that we're back and that we were about to start making moves. After my friends and I settle on a place to eat, I tell Ted and he says that he's back at his hotel. I ask him if he's in for the night (since he's been texting me about where we're going to be for the past 3 hours) and guess what he says... Ted says no, he's waiting for his girlfriend to get back to the hotel. [Yes...you read correctly, this ninja said his GIRLFRIEND! Umm...I'm thinking that maybe I missed something so I got a 2nd & 3rd opinion and both said that I wasn't tripping.] I ended up just hitting him back with a "that's cool" and kept it moving. Where was this girlfriend while we were texting until after 2a on the first night and all day the next day? Ninjas!

The situation wasn't worth more than that response. Because this city is so small and our careers are closely related, we've crossed paths again but I don't give him any more or less attention than I give anyone else. Well...that's a lie because he gets a straight face and a dry tone. I'm not rude but I'm definitely not extra.

Bright Side: Even though I was a little taken back by this situation with Ted in DC, I feel like I handled it properly. In my profession, you never know who's connected with who and you don't want to burn any bridges. Ehh...growing up is hard to do!

The Contradiction Personified

(Note: This song is not related to what I'm writing about but as I was writing it popped into my head...I just love it because it's weird "They want their daddy...I'm not their daddy" lol)

So I'm in bed trying to calm my mind so that I can finally get to bed before midnight (I need at least 8 hours of sleep or I'll be in a serious fight with time and my alarm clock in the morning). Let's just say that I #fail at this challenge every night. Tonight, I have the pleasure of hearing Stevie Wonder's "Knocks Me Off My Feet" playing on repeat and an unsuccessful hang-out/date/I don't know what it was haunting my thoughts. Now I know that I haven't written a post in a while but I've had a lot going on and with everything floating around in my head, I figured what better time to jump back into it than tonight?  Time to put the tv on mute, turn on iTunes, and start the 16K song shuffle so I can share my thoughts. Let's get it...

Like I said before, I went to go hang-out with someone (let's call him "Ted") this weekend. [To me] Ted was cool. We had things in common and I wasn't looking for a way to escape after the first 15 minutes of  talking to him, which is always good for me. (It's sad to say, but that's the way most of my hang-outs/dates/I don't know what this is go.  I have an uber short attention span and it's even shorter for the foolish, hence the reason why I haven't posted in so long). Before going out with Ted, I knew that he had potential. He seemed (not saying that he isn't...I just haven't been around him enough to verify my initial assessment) to be good people. I won't go into the details of the afternoon, but I will say that I left the table thinking that it was a good time until we are leaving and Ted 1). Asks me where my car is, says that his is the opposite way, and then proceeds to walk to his car. (Uhh...a sista can't get a walk to the car that's only 5 cars down? lol o...k) and 2). It's just the "Talk to you later". No mention of doing it again or anything. So y'all know me, I start going into immediate self-preservation mode. This obviously has to translate into he isn't feeling me so it's time for the automatic shut-down...right? Not quite. (There's more to the story, but I have other things to discuss)

So...I started thinking (translation: over analyzing) about the time that we spent talking and the conversation. I came to the conclusion that I am a HORRIBLE first-dater because I'm basically a walking contradiction. Not on purpose, but that's just me! The people, who know me, know how to navigate these waters but what does it tell someone who I'm just meeting that I am actually interested in (and not just hanging out with because I have a free space on my calendar)? For example, I'm an extrovert. I love people, I love being around people, even when I feel like I'm at -0%, when I walk into the crowd my levels rise. (For some reason Ted thought that I didn't know the definition of an extrovert v. an introvert and I had to keep my facial expressions under control when he decided to give me the definition. But I digress...) But I'm also completely comfortable being alone and I need (and prefer) having space/alone time pretty often. Didn't get the point? Let's try another example: I'm equally as guarded as I am open. It's confusing...I know! You know those personality tests that you take during seminars, retreats, etc. where you answer a serious of questions and it's supposed to tell you if you're an otter, a dolphin, a monkey, a walrus, a lion, or a Tyrannosaurus Rex (I know I messed that all up...but you get the point!)? My results are always 3 out of the 4 and they are all usually within 1-2 points of each other.  I like to think of myself as being...well...complex.

Then it got me to thinking about past interactions and what this communicates to others. I remember my neighbor once told me that I was confusing because at the early part of our conversation I responded one way then later responded another (but both responses were equally true). I understand it, but the question is how do you get past it? How exactly do you respond when someone asks you to tell them about yourself when you have truths that are two different extremes? It's kinda tricky to communicate this verbally when it's something that usually just "clicks" when they are around me long enough. And how do you get past the "she must be saying what she thinks I want to hear" to the "Eureka! She just possesses both characteristics equally"?

Bright Side: I guess eventually someone will get it...I'm not sure if Ted got it during our first real conversation (and by the way the afternoon/follow up email ended, I'm not sure if he's interested in learning this through interaction).  Ah well!
I told you...I just needed to put my thoughts out there before I end up staying up till the wee hours thinking about something that's already passed. I'm sure I'll get it figured out...just not tonight.

Google Me...

So my stolen sister and I were on our way to a baseball game last night and I told her about my idea for a blog topic.  I explained how I've been chastised for wanting to know too much too soon about potentials instead of just going with the flow.  Let me explain...if I meet a guy through a friend or on my own, we usually exchange first and last names.  If I find myself interested in the guy's conversation (and appearance), I start verifying information via Google, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.  Personally, I don't see anything wrong with putting someone through a vetting process to see if they're worth the time and energy.  Now, I don't interrupt the person when they're telling me about themselves with "Oh, I already know that" or "Yeah, I read that on your Facebook".  I also don't go into some stalker-type research.  I look verify that the information that they've shared with me is the correct information and that they aren't on America's Most Wanted, married/engaged/in a relationship, or have 30 kids (don't act like this isn't possible).  I'm just curious to see what comes up when I put your name into Google and I'm sure that it's quite possible that he might do the same thing with me (which is why I try to be mindful of what I post and what pictures I take).

Bright Side:  Like I said, I don't get stalkerish with it, looking for addresses and the such, I just want to make sure that this person is who they say that they are.  I also am well aware that just because their words match their postings doesn't mean that we're going to be a match and things will end as a fairy tale.  I just want to have my eyes as open as I possibly can... 

Performance Anxiety

Morning and happy hump day!  I have a confession...I suffer from performance anxiety.  Not in the way that you're thinking, but in another way.  I'll give you the scenario and let you give me the advice.  Here we go...

Like most people on Saturday night, I went to a fight party with my cousin/sister/friend.  We were the first guests to arrive so we were just sitting on the couch watching the pre-pre fight.  As we were sitting, I don't know what came over me but I just turned and asked our host's husband if he had any attractive friends coming.  He kinda looked a little thrown off and responded with I have 2 of my best friends coming...but you'll have to determine how attractive they are because I don't look at them like that. Lol Of course not!  (But I'm sure that our host was happy to know that he's not asking other men if they have something in their eye...reference from the movie "Cover".)  Anyway...he mentions that one is single and the other is married (so now I have to discreetly look for a wedding band or a wedding band tan).  Great!  I'm up for a challenge!  So, after having my eyes glued to the door every time they left to escort another guest into their home, he finally comes in.  Only problem is that after that bold conversation that I started, an overwhelming feeling of shame comes over my body.  So much so that I can't even look at the guy.  So, I turn to my CSF and tell her that I can't look at him and she [strongly] suggests that I at least look at him to see if I'm attracted to him or not.  Well...after another 10-15 minutes of scrolling through my Twitter timeline [plug: follow me at @Vonne716 for real time updates], the pre-fight comes on and i'm given an excuse to look up.  As we all engage in a conversation about how old Sugar Shane is and the poor spending habits of athletes, I finally look at him.  He's attractive and very well-spoken. 

I don't provide much one on one conversation, but we have enough.  I admit that I do find him attractive but that's the extent of it.  Since we are in a group of people (and he's sitting in another chair across from me), it's kinda hard to have an intimate conversation...or even put yourself in a position to be (for lack of a better word) courted.  Well...the big fight ends and he excuses himself to the restroom right as we are leaving.  In my opinion, if he was interested then he could've offered to walk out with us and an exchange of numbers could have happened then...but it didn't. In the car, CSF expressed that she didn't feel that I really gave him the feeling that I was interested since I didn't really engage in a lot of conversation with him.  I don't know...I felt that I did.  Anyway, it was brought to the attention of the hosts that I thought he was attractive but that's where it ended.

Bright Side:  I don't know...I just didn't feel like "Oh my goodness! I just really need to pursue this further!".  Maybe because I'm in one of my "If he was interested then he would've found a way to approach me" kind of moods.  I'm just tired of approaching...especially when it yields the same results.  This can (and probably will) change, but as far as right now...he has been left in Saturday.  If our paths somehow cross again, I hope he has his big boy pants on because, although I might have a more to say, I'm not volunteering any of my numeric contact information...he has to ask for it. 

Smitten

Greeting and Salutations!  I have to admit that I am quite smitten with a certain young man that I see on a regular basis.  It's the guy that signed me up at the gym.  He's very handsome and seems to be a nice guy...when we communicate.  Every so often he will ask me about certain aspects of my life, but that will be the extent of the conversation.  We'll call him Brad instead of what I usually call him...(which is my boo, future babydaddy, or something to that effect lol)

I shared my interest with my workout buddy and she decided to inflict a bit of payback one day as we were walking out of our class. (You see...I kinda fronted her while we were out of town...accidentally!)  She decided to pay me back by going up to Brad.  As soon as she announced to me what she was going to do (and that no matter how hard I contested it, she was still going to do it), I made a B-line into the Kid's Club to not have to suffer through the humiliation.  So, she goes up to Brad and asks him about his romantic status...for me.  She then came into the Kid's Club with her report.  Even though I was thoroughly embarrassed that she did it (especially since he kept standing outside of the door watching us for a bit), it was equally good and disappointing to know that he is currently "involved".  I know...bummer, right?!

Well that brings me to Monday.  My little cousin decided to get on the #SummertimeFine train and expressed an interest in joining our workout group.  So I told Brad that she was coming and to hook her up.  She gets there while I'm in class and by the time my class is over, I have an earful of information (that she had to repeat the next day).  So...apparently I'm being watched.  From her story of how Brad confessed that he is aware of my workout schedule (and a few other comments that he made), we came to the conclusion that Brad might be a tad bit smitten with me as well.  Now...I'm not one to break up happy homes (or even unhappy homes), so I'm just going to chill on the knowledge.  Brad and his boo could have parted ways or Brad could just be acting like a man.  Either way...until he comes forward with any type of information then I guess I won't know.  **snaps fingers** oh well...

Bright Side:  Regardless of Brad's relationship status or thoughts/feeling about me, I'm really enjoying going to the gym.  I feel healthier and am elated about the 7.5 lbs that I've shed since I've been going!  It's nice to see that hard work pays off...and it's even nicer to have a little eye candy while I'm walking into the gym.  Work Hard, Play Harder!

One For The Road

So I know that I was supposed to post last week...but that ain't happen. Lol I do have a few minutes of freedom now so I felt the need to share...

Okay...so for my brother's birthday last month we went out to a new spot [for me].  I haven't been out to a lounge/club in a while because that's not really my scene anymore.  I don't mind hanging out there once in a while, but the every day of the week partying in the club was left in year 26. 

While I was trying to convince my brother that he'd had enough libations for the evening, I noticed a tall, dark, and very handsome man across the walkway from us.  I didn't say anything in the beginning because I like to sit back and observe for a bit.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to do too much observing because the clock was creeping on 12:30 am and it was getting mighty close to my bedtime.  We moved to another area of the spot and my yawns started coming on closer and closer so I knew it was time for me to head to the door.  When I finally convinced myself to throw caution to the wind and approach the guy, he was gone.  Now I figured that he hadn't left altogether (since his friend was still standing at the bar), but he was out of my line of sight.  Oh well...guess it wasn't meant to be! 

As I drove home, I kept thinking to myself "what if?" and my imagination got the best of me so I picked up the phone and let my fingers do the walking.  I reached into my 15 year old bag of tricks and had my brother's girlfriend handle the situation for me.  She passed on my information and I let that be.  (I do not suggest anyone taking that course of action because it saves a lot of questions and confusion to just do it yourself)  About a week later I received a text message from the guy.  We went through the usual introductions but then I realized that I didn't ask him if he was involved.  Conversation went a little like this:

RR:  "So I don't think I asked you if you were involved.  I would hate to interfere."

Midtown:  "I am, but I don't mind if you interfere"

RR: *blank stare*  "Umm...I'm sure that your wife/girlfriend would mind, so it was nice meeting you and enjoy the day"

MT:  "Girlfriend and you enjoy your day too"

Really?  I appreciate the honesty upfront, but did he really think that I was going to be cool with 2nd (or 3rd, 4th, 5th) place?  I don't know how other females do it, but I'm too selfish to share and I wouldn't want to do that to another female and I know how it feels to be the one thinking that your relationship is gravy and there's another woman there.   

Bright Side:  Like I said, I appreciate the honesty.  He could've said no and I could've ended up in a very bad situation.  Good blogging for you...bad times for me.  Anyway, enjoy your weekend and be safe!

If you're in Houston, come out to the Open Armz of Hope poetry reading on Sunday, April 15th at Fox Hollow (4617 Nett Street, Houston, Texas) from 3p - 6p.  There's no cover charge, but they are asking for a $5 donation (all proceeds from this event will go to Open Armz of Hope, a non-profit organization)

Guilty!

Oh boy how time flies!  It's been over a month since I've posted and I'm feeling a little guilty.  I had to take a break for a trip and getting my life together, but I have a few stories to tell and I'll start posting them next week.  Until then...

Have a great week/weekend!

Feeling Some Kinda Way Today?

In honor of the life and talent of Ms. Whitney Houston, I picked two videos that (I feel) are the soundtrack of the day for both the attached and unattached: "The Greatest Love of All" and "Million Dollar Bill".  We loved the way Ms. Houston's music made us feel and we will be forever grateful for the talent that God allowed us to witness.  She will be forever missed.

I woke up this morning and I felt a little different.  Not because I'm in a somber state because I don't have a significant other, but because I'm not affected by the fact that I don't have a significant other.  I'm not sure if I've shared this but, in times past, I used to be a really angry person on Valentine's Day.  I would wear all black and say "Bah Humbug" when greeted with a "Happy Valentine's Day!".  I'm guessing that after 6 years of not having a Valentine, I've learned how to handle it.  This year, I didn't feel any of the pressure to entertain foolishness just to have someone tell me Happy Valentine's Day...I have plenty of friends on Facebook and followers on Twitter who did just that (and I didn't have to buy them anything).  Instead, I chose to visit two of my favorite retailers and send myself a little a lot of  somethin', somethin's.  Why can't I be we be our own Valentine?  Aren't we supposed to love ourselves more anyway?  I think so!  If you don't love yourself then how can someone else love you? 

Usually I spend this day out with my little brother, but this year I'll be going to the gym with my ls (she's whipping me into shape for Mexico in November) and then I'll be taking myself out...do some more reflection on my growth from last year to this year and just enjoy being able to see another day.  Today shouldn't be about the love that you feel that you don't have, but more about the love that you do.  Plus, if I was in a relationship, I'm not going to lie and say that I wouldn't want my significant other to recognize today (I'm still a human and most importantly, an emotional female! lol), but I would want him to show me how much he loves me everyday.  Why can't Valentine's Day be 365 days...isn't it more about the action of love and not just the gift? But what do I know...I haven't had a significant other as a Valentine in 7 years. Lol

Bright Side:  Enjoy this day with those that you love and who love you in return.  It doesn't have to be a romantic love, but it could be a celebration of love with your friends and family.  It's only one day and it will be over in less than 24 hours!
   

Cougar Training...

Well...I tried.  I really did try.  After about a day or two of playing phone tag, I was finally able to sit and have a conversation with EC (Eye Candy from last week's post).  Or at least I tried to.  I think we may have talked for about 10 minutes before the first interruption came.  Now, I didn't think too much of it because sometimes people call and you have to click over...I get it.   But when he returned, the interruptions started coming a lot more frequently.  It was like he clicked over every 5 minutes!  Eventually, he just said that he would just call me back.  This went on everyday for the past week.  He called me, like clockwork, every day when he got off and within 20 minutes of the conversation he told me he would call me back.  I'm sorry but I just can't deal with that...especially when the person doesn't see anything wrong with it.

You see...in that first 10 minutes of the conversation I learned that this young man (yes...YOUNG) was only 22!  W.T.H?  I'm way too young to be in "cougar training"!  Then, he felt it necessary to share his stories of a very "challenging" (idk what to call being pimped by an older lady...I can't make this stuff up, even if I tried) upbringing.  His mind was on his money...literally.  I believe that he told me that when he's in a relationship he wouldn't be intimate with another woman but he would give her his time if she paid him for it.  Umm...excuse me?  Are you being serious?  Am I being punk'd? 

Needless to say there were a number of things that troubled me about this guy.  Finally, I had to just tell him straight up that I didn't have time for the constant phone tag and foolishness.  Aside from the scary stories, I could see some intelligence, a love of God (I know...hard to believe, right?  But who am I to judge?), and some potential...if he was ready.  But, he's not and I don't have time for a "project".  He still has time to get his life together and hopefully he does it sooner than later.

Bright Side:  I told you that at least I would have a story to tell!  But I'm glad that I decided to let it go up front than let it keep going and having a headache about it later.  I don't know what to say...I kinda felt bad because I thought that I might be able to be the light in a room full of darkness but I also felt like you can't help anyone who doesn't want to be helped.  During our brief conversations, I was able to put some things on his mind but not enough to make him see that as easy as money comes, it goes even faster with one inaccurate step.  I just had to say a prayer and let it go...

Who Should You Allow To Pursue You?

Greetings!  Okay so I had a very interesting topic to discuss today.  I'll give you a little bit of the background first.  My job is very, very lax.  My boss talks to me about different topics all of the time and one of them happens to be relationships.  I've said this before, but her husband has even tried (and is still trying) to hook me up.  I don't mind...it could turn out to be a love connection, a great blog post, or both!  But anyway, she and I have very different views on dating and the caliber of men that I should allow to pursue me.

I think we all have our idea of the "Ideal Man" that we want to be with.  Personally, I would prefer someone God-fearing, loving, taller than me, educated, intelligent (because being intelligent and educated are two very different things), attractive, protective (not overbearing), and just a genuinely good person.  I don't think that these things are too much to ask, but I can compromise on some of them too. 

I was working an event on Saturday and I saw some really nice "eye candy"(EC).  Normally at these events, all I see are old men and a bunch of kids but this EC was an unfamiliar face.  I inquired, one thing led to another, and we exchanged numbers.  Now, EC is a worker...he works with his hands and out in the sun and, 9 times out of 10, he doesn't have any education outside of the normal K-12.  For me, this isn't a deal breaker.  We haven't had the opportunity to converse but from the source that started the ball rolling, he is intelligent and has a good head on his shoulders.  I feel like I could be passing up the person who could really make me happy just because he doesn't fit my idea of an ideal match for me.  (Not saying that he will be the "end all, be all", but you never know what might happen.  He could be someone who treats me better than anyone with 4,5,6 degrees would ever treat me or he could be just as bad as them...everyone is different and you never know until you find out.) 

Now, my boss feels otherwise.  She feels like if you went through all of that hard work to attain your degrees that you should find someone who has done the same.  But she isn't the person who will be in the relationship.  She sees what's on the outside and I prefer to see what's on the inside.  Are you a hard worker?  How do you treat your mother?  As long as he isn't involved in any illegal activities or running around like a whore monger, why not see what he's talking about?  This should be a pretty interesting experience!  It kinda reminds me of the Monty/Julia relationship in "Daddy's Little Girls".

Bright Side:  This is the good part of being single...being able to visit the buffet and put whatever you want on your tray to find out if you like it or not.  We'll see what happens and you'll be the first to know!

Dealbreaker?

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to hang out with a more seasoned group of ladies while watching Bearkat and Texans football.  I had so much fun listening to stories of sponsorship and foolishness.  It was somewhat interesting (and a little scary) to know that foolishness knows no age.  Seriously, is this what I have to look forward to in the coming years?!  One of the stories that was brought to the table for discussion was one that I have yet to encounter.  Let me share (and yes, I did get permission)...

This lovely, 40+ lady (Bonita) met a guy (Reggie) out and about.  One day when they were conversing, they decide to meet up.  Now...this was an impromptu date.  When they finally met at Subway, they ordered and proceeded to pay.  The male (also 40+) pulls out a buy one, get one free foot long coupon.  Now Bonita is a little taken aback by Reggie's decision to use a coupon on one of their first outings.  And on top of all of that, Bonita ordered a 6 inch sandwich instead of a footlong so Reggie had to order another footlong on his own (which he said that he would eat for lunch on another day).  Really?  I understand the concept of frugality, but can we at least wait until date 5,6, or 7...when we are really comfortable with each other? 

So the discussion at the table was if you felt like this was acceptable behavior or not.  Personally, I think that he should've waited to use the coupon with his boys or for lunch one day, especially since he still ended up keeping the other sandwich for another day anyway.  But maybe that's just me (and the other ladies at the table).

Bright Side:  Maybe this means that he is awesome at saving and building for the future?  idk...that's probably a stretch but it's all that I got!

New Year, New Boys (Hopefully)!

What up everybody?  I hope that you all had as awesome of a holiday season as I did.  I was off from work for almost 2 weeks so needless to say, it was a struggle to wake up this morning.  I did get to bring in the new year with my family at church, then with 2 really good friends so I have no complaints!  2011 wasn't a bad year for me, but I hope that bringing in the new year with fun and family is a sign that 2012 will be even better than 2011. 

I'm hoping that 2012 is filled with relaxation, love, life,   prosperity, travel, and happiness (and maybe a tad bit of timeliness.  I almost made it to work on time today...dang train! lol) .  I've never been one for setting specific new year's lies resolutions because it's all about continued growth and (I feel) everything else will fall into place.  I can say that I do plan on being a little more adventurous in my dating life.  For example, when I came into work today my boss told me that her husband met a guy at a diner that she thinks would be a good fit for me.  My only response was to tell her to go for it!  Let's just say that 2012 is already starting off on an interesting note. 

Let's see what the rest of the year has in store for us...

        Happy 2012! 

SWITCH!

Well...I have a good story for you today!  I was out hanging with the girls one night when one of my friends, Nia, asked me about my blog.  I was telling her about how I love it and she told me that she has a "situation" that she wanted me to share with my readers and wanted their honest advice...so here it is:

Nia is caught up in a situation, to say the least.  She works long days at her company so she and her coworkers spend a lot of time together.  So it was no surprise when she started dating her coworker, Aaron, secretly.  Their relationship ended, but now she's fallen for a new guy, Mike, who just happens to be another co-worker.  Now, it's not like the two (Aaron & Mike) are so far removed from each other that they'll never cross paths.  In fact, Aaron and Mike have a casual (we play video games together) relationship. 

Nia has yet to inform Mike about her past relationship with Aaron, and doesn't know if she should.  She and Aaron are still friends (and Aaron has a hater brother who works in the same dept as Nia and Mike and would gladly spill the relationship beans). 

Nia's question is: "What Should She Do?"  Personally, I think that she should tell Mike about Aaron.  I don't see how it would end better if she doesn't...but that's just my two cents. 

Bright Side: At least someone's dating regularly up in this piece!  Just kidding, just kidding!

The BIG date...

Guess what y'all?!?!? I'm so done with graduate school! Graduation was on Saturday and I am officially free from the bondage of research papers and reading textbooks! Hooray!   Okay so I owe you an ending to the Up In the Air post.Here we go...
I was instructed to arrive at Ruggles Bakery early.  I don't know if I mentioned it, but we were going to try to catch all of this madness on video so that I could show my dating techniques...#technologyFAIL!  We didn't quite figure out how we were going to record both video and audio without my date knowing. (yes, this was an undercover mission)  We just taped the audio.  I had to slide a small recorder into my purse without the bright red recording light showing...I succeeded.  Well, Ashlee, Jenn, and another accomplice positioned themselves by the door (and out of site) while I sat across the room, facing them. 
Since Jenn didn't tell me anything about the guy (other than the fact that he was 6'3), I didn't know anything.  I didn't know his name, his age, anything.   This was truly a blind date. 

Okay so right on time, he walks into the restaurant and I was like he's cool.  He wasn't my normal type, but if my normal type was working for me then I wouldn't be set up by friends on a blind date.  He sits down and we begin talking.  He's nice, he's intelligent, he doesn't say "conversate", and he can carry on a pretty good conversation...we're off to a good start.  We get through the usual "getting to know you" questions.  When he gets up to order us our red velvet cake (it was sooo good!), Ashlee and Jenn motion for me to meet them in the restroom.  When I get inside, I get asked questions about how I feel the date is going.  Trying not to be too obvious (and I didn't want to stay in the restroom too long making seem that I was having stomach issues), I left out before them.  He came back to the table and we kept talking.  I was getting a little tired and was a tad bit ready to leave, but he was still going.  We talked for so long that I didn't realized that Ashlee and Jenn had left.  When they came back they banged on the window and broke the date up.  They sent me away (which I was a tad bit relieve by) and from what I understand, he was not a happy camper.

They debriefed him and found out that he really enjoyed himself.  As far as me, I thought that he was a nice guy, I didn't feel any sparks or fireworks. 

Bright Side:  We went on another date to the movies a couple of weeks after that and it just fizzled out.  It might have been because he could sense that I wasn't all into it or it could've been because he felt the same.  Honestly, it doesn't really matter to me...I'm just glad that I didn't have to have any awkward conversations later if my feelings never changed.

"Story of My Life!"

Just felt that I should share the story of my life!  I was listening to My Life II...The Journey and I immediately felt a connection to this song. 

"Up In The Air..."

Okay, so during my brief hiatus I was able to squeeze in some blog-worthy fun in.  It all started one day when I met 2 of my friends for lunch.  We started talking about the blog that I had just posted and the subject turned to me, my "must-haves", and what went wrong with the guy that I that I posted about.  After listing my short (but very manageable) list, Jen decided that she and Ashlee were going to set up a dating reality show style intervention on me. 

After lunch, Jennifer de-friended me on FB (so that I couldn't start searching for who he might be and he couldn't search for me) and started the process.  To my surprise, she came up with someone for me to go out with.  (Now, I'm a bit of a control freak so I had Jen move the date up from the Sunday after next to the upcoming Sunday).  Well, everything was set logistically so now I had to go through a wardrobe and pre-date intervention. Lol  I pretty much knew what I wanted to wear, but it had to be "approved" by the executive directors of this program. Lol So my top and bottom were approved, but my shoes were veto-d (who knew that wearing a pair of nice, fashion-forward, sky high booties conveyed a "come and get it" vibe?  Not me!).  After pulling out about 5 pair of heels, we got it figured out.  So after we found my perfect outfit, I had to practice my "sexy walk" (even though I was already going to be seated at the table when he arrived).    That was a major #FAIL!  I'm too silly to really be able to practice anything like that.  And even if I did come up with something "acceptable" then, it would not be executed in the same manner. Lol

During the "mock date", I couldn't keep a straight face either.  Ashlee and Jenn kept trying to mimic the mannerisms of a male, but it just made me laugh even harder.  We went through the basic questions and how I would normally respond vs. a more polite way to respond.  I usually try to put a positive, bright side spin on my words but it doesn't always help.  It was a fun Saturday and I felt pretty ready to meet this guy on Sunday.

Bright Side:  It's so much better to go through this process with people who genuinely care about your happiness and well being.  I'm so blessed to have great friends, great family, and great friends who become family/family who becomes friends!  I'll let you know how Sunday went later!