I thought about what I was going to write as a post today (because we all know that I have an opinion about THIS day). I went back and forth about if I should write the all too cliché (and bitter) post about why I hate Valentine's Day or a post about how single people should just embrace the day and celebrate with their loved ones. I'm not going to do either, but I am going to give you some insight as to how I celebrate (or don't celebrate) this day.
After not having a significant other to celebrate today with for 6 years, most people would think that I should be able to treat this day just like every other day...but those people don't know me. I'm a hopeless romantic who loves to give and has a very vivid imagination. I have so many ideas of what to do for that special someone and I end of giving it away to someone who's in the position to use it. In the past, I've been the Grinch Who Stole Valentine's Day and worn all black (like I'm wearing today...don't judge me) and replied "Bah Humbug" whenever I was greeted with a "Happy Valentine's Day" and I've tried celebrating "Single Awareness Day" with my friends, but last year took the cake. I decided to take myself on a date to go see the movie Valentine's Day and ended up crying on the phone to a friend because the movie just made me think about how single I was and how lonely I felt. Then, I had someone else cancel my Facebook account because I was tired of seeing all of the lovey-dovey status's. I was in a bad, bad place mentally. After all of that I was so drained emotionally that I just turned off my ringer and went to sleep...when I woke up, I had a missed call from my cousin telling me that her boyfriend proposed to her, so I jumped up and celebrated with her that night. Needless to say, it was a day of rollercoaster emotions.
With last year being so sucky, I decided earlier in the week that this year (like every other year) was going to be different. I was going to grab the bull by the horns and just celebrate the love that I do have in my life instead of the love that I feel that I'm missing. I was going to celebrate the good things going for me because I'm an attractive, intelligent young woman who has a lot going for her and a bright future ahead of her...that was until this morning. LOL I got to work and the elevators were out of order so I had to walk up stairs to get to my office and my boss was needier than ever…so much for my positive mood. I tried looking for The Bright Side: those stairs are going to make my butt look great and at least my boss needs me so that means that I have a job...right? My emotions are going back and forth ...thinking the best because it could be so much worse. I guess I'm just extra sensitive today.
I'm still trying to sort out my Valentine's Day emotions, but I think that it's getting better since I haven't broken down and started balling in front of my computer. lol I went to the Robin Thicke/Miguel concert with one of my girlfriends on Saturday, today I bought some of my favorite people (my family) sweets and treats, and tonight my little brother and I are going to the game tonight to watch the Rockets vs. the Nuggets (I'll get to see Courtney Lee and Carmelo Anthony...nice!).
Bright Side: I'm just going to accept the fact that my level of sensitivity is heightened on this day because I'm a loving person and there's nothing that I can do about it. I can just accept it (and be thankful that the day only lasts for 24 hours...and I'm sleep at least 13 of those hours). Eventually I will have someone to share this day (and the other 365 days) with and he will be very lucky, because I'll have a lot of time to make up for!
After not having a significant other to celebrate today with for 6 years, most people would think that I should be able to treat this day just like every other day...but those people don't know me. I'm a hopeless romantic who loves to give and has a very vivid imagination. I have so many ideas of what to do for that special someone and I end of giving it away to someone who's in the position to use it. In the past, I've been the Grinch Who Stole Valentine's Day and worn all black (like I'm wearing today...don't judge me) and replied "Bah Humbug" whenever I was greeted with a "Happy Valentine's Day" and I've tried celebrating "Single Awareness Day" with my friends, but last year took the cake. I decided to take myself on a date to go see the movie Valentine's Day and ended up crying on the phone to a friend because the movie just made me think about how single I was and how lonely I felt. Then, I had someone else cancel my Facebook account because I was tired of seeing all of the lovey-dovey status's. I was in a bad, bad place mentally. After all of that I was so drained emotionally that I just turned off my ringer and went to sleep...when I woke up, I had a missed call from my cousin telling me that her boyfriend proposed to her, so I jumped up and celebrated with her that night. Needless to say, it was a day of rollercoaster emotions.
With last year being so sucky, I decided earlier in the week that this year (like every other year) was going to be different. I was going to grab the bull by the horns and just celebrate the love that I do have in my life instead of the love that I feel that I'm missing. I was going to celebrate the good things going for me because I'm an attractive, intelligent young woman who has a lot going for her and a bright future ahead of her...that was until this morning. LOL I got to work and the elevators were out of order so I had to walk up stairs to get to my office and my boss was needier than ever…so much for my positive mood. I tried looking for The Bright Side: those stairs are going to make my butt look great and at least my boss needs me so that means that I have a job...right? My emotions are going back and forth ...thinking the best because it could be so much worse. I guess I'm just extra sensitive today.
I'm still trying to sort out my Valentine's Day emotions, but I think that it's getting better since I haven't broken down and started balling in front of my computer. lol I went to the Robin Thicke/Miguel concert with one of my girlfriends on Saturday, today I bought some of my favorite people (my family) sweets and treats, and tonight my little brother and I are going to the game tonight to watch the Rockets vs. the Nuggets (I'll get to see Courtney Lee and Carmelo Anthony...nice!).
Bright Side: I'm just going to accept the fact that my level of sensitivity is heightened on this day because I'm a loving person and there's nothing that I can do about it. I can just accept it (and be thankful that the day only lasts for 24 hours...and I'm sleep at least 13 of those hours). Eventually I will have someone to share this day (and the other 365 days) with and he will be very lucky, because I'll have a lot of time to make up for!
I've been there where you are now. I understand the rollercoaster all too well. You should check out the 3 notes that I posted on Facebook today. I've been single for 9 years and counting now. I've learned though that you can't rush God. He's got a great blessing in store for us both, when He sees fit. Until then I focus on myself and making sure that I am the best Christian woman that I can be, worthy of the Christian Husband that He is grooming for me. Days like today don't sting nearly like they use to now that I focus on the love that I share with The Originator of Love, a love unsurpassed by anything man can offer. It's taken me a long time to get to this place but I thank My Valentine that I have arrived here and open and honestly be happy for those who have someone to share this day with as I look forward to the future and the day when I will have my turn to share my love with someone and that we can share our love for God together.
ReplyDeleteThis is a big step for you. Keep moving forward and everything will fall into place. Happy Valentine's Day & Love Ya!!!!
ReplyDelete~A.Renee
Love this post! Very freeing, honest....you! Keep growing and learning and loving. God will bring it back to you multiple times over! He knows that you are more than deserving.
ReplyDelete