Pose for the camera...

Happy Monday!  I know that I told you all a couple of posts ago that I took some pictures with a friend of mine who has just entered the photography game.  I originally contacted Lydias Vizions to do a shoot support my friend, but she turned it into a Bloggerversary shoot to celebrate my 1 year of blogging.  Well..the photoshoot went well and 719 pictures later, I have my 9 favorites to show you (I actually have 46 edited pictures, but I didn't think that you all wanted to see 46 pictures of me lol).

Here they are (in no particular order):

Hopefully if I kiss enough frogs, one will turn into a Prince (or something close)

If you like my pictures (or if you want to see more of her work), her website is http://www.lydiasvizions.com/

Spring Cleaning - Facebook

I don't know if I told y'all this, but I joined Match.com in February...and cancelled my subscription in March. lol While I was on there, there were a couple of guys that caught my eye (both by their picture and their bio). One guy in particular I sent a message and we went back and forth one day and I didn't hear from him again until almost 3 weeks later. He sent me a message saying that he doesn't regularly check his account, so he asked me if I had FB. I said yes and he sent me a friend request. We had a few people in common (and I checked with 2 trusted sources about him...good reviews). We communicated once after I accepted his friend request and that was it. Like...it. He didn't message anything else so I didn't either. I did, however, delete his friendship because I didn't see a purpose for having a connection that wasn't going to be used. Before, I deleted the friendship, I did send a message saying Happy Birthday but I think I deleted the profile the day after. I know some people might feel that it was a hasty decision, but I'm in the process of deleting people that I really don't know and don't have an interest in getting to know from my page anyway...and he happens to be in that category now. Obviously, he either didn't like the other pictures that were posted on my page, or he just isn't interested and that's fine. I'm not for everybody.

About a week after I deleted his friendship he sent me a message saying thanks for the birthday wishes and another friend request. So then I'm thinking maybe he was just busy with life...it was his birthday week. So I sent a message saying "So...." and responded with "So...? You wished me happy birthday and I was saying thanks" and I responded "as in how was your birthday?"...flatline, no response. Oh well!

Bright Side: I don't know if there is one here...you tell me if you see one.

Friendship Cleaning

My friends call me the "Social Butterfly" and I have to admit that it's pretty fitting. I enjoy meeting new people and just conversing with anyone...and I mean anyone. I always joke with my core group of friends, most of whom I've known for years, that they are stuck with me FOREVER...and in most cases they are. One friend and I fight like sisters...we've had friendship break-ups, but we always mend our relationship and it comes back stronger than ever. I've never had fall-outs with anyone else like I've had with her that end up making our bond tighter and that's why I consider her a sister. Others, I've never had an argument with, but I've always been able to express my feelings to them about various issues going on in their lives and they've always been able to do the same with me. We have a very open relationship and that works for us, but everyone can’t handle their friendships like we handle ours. Every group of people have very different dynamics that you have to work with, but if you don't have trust as a foundation, then your friendship won't be built on stable ground.


One of my line sister's and I were talking about friendships and how sometimes we see other people's friendships and try to compare the two and start to put those expectations on our friends...which is unfair. We all have grown up differently, and those experiences make us who we are today. After so much time of being who we are, it's hard to make an overnight change. Now, that's not justifying the wrong that we do, but understanding that should help to increase our patience in working with our friends. We all have a choice...we can choose to continue our relationships or we can choose to end them. If we choose to continue them, then we are saying that we accept that person for who they are and we are willing to work with them on changing their undesirable characteristics AND they are willing to do the same for us (because truth be told, there are some serious things about us that we should be working on as well).

As for me, I decided to discontinue a particular relationship because although I was working on the things that I needed to be a better person and a better friend, I didn't feel that they were. Their behavior was starting to be self-destructive and there was a lack of trust. A lack of trust in telling me the whole story when soliciting my advice and opinion, behavior changes, poor judgment, narcissism, and the inability to balance personal relationships and accept responsibility for actions. I didn't end the friendship because this was the first time that it had happened, but because it was becoming a pattern and me continuing to bring these issues up were wasting both of our time and my breathe...especially when she didn't see an issue with these things. I won't say that we will never be friends again (because I know that there is a good person in there...I've seen her before), but it's going to take a lot of soul-searching and self-evaluation on her part before I decide to open myself up again. I could either complain about what was going on or I could do something about it and I chose the latter. It is her life and she can live it in whatever fashion she chooses, but as a real friend I only want to see the best for her. I would like for her inner beauty to shine as brightly as her outer beauty, but I can only want so much. If that’s not the way that she wants to live her life then I can’t force it on her but I also won’t be a play-piece in her game of Life.

Bright Side: Just like I deserve more in a relationship, I deserve the same in a friendship. If it were a guy who was handling our relationship like this, I wouldn't think twice about putting things on hold for re-evaluation...and the same should go for a friendship. Only time will tell what the future holds...

#EjectYourself...2

So last year or so, my cousin was planning speed dating events.  I think that I mentioned this in a previous post, but it was a really nice event.  There was a nice ratio of males to females, the ambiance was nice, and the event was well-organized.  At this event, there were a few guys that caught my attention.  One guy in particular works at an office that works closely with my office.  I selected him as one of the guys that I was interested in getting to know, but I never heard anything from him so I figured there was no connection. 

A little bit later he sent an email to my work email just shooting the breeze, but nothing came of it.  Last week, he called the office to ask a question about a possible event but he also asked how I'd been doing and what not. So, I sent him an email with my information and told him to contact me there if he wanted to check up on me.  Well...we went back and forth via email that day, he sent a friend request on FB that day, and the next day we went back forth on FB chat.  Now, my thing is that communicating via FB and email are fine, but he has my cell number.  I may be thinking too much into this (which I am good for doing), but he can text or call me.  For me, email and FB chat are very impersonal because you have to either be at your desk or at a computer to converse.  It also makes me think that maybe there's a reason why you can't pick up your phone or have a record of communicating in your phone. 

Before you start to get on me about over thinking the situation, I haven't said anything and I'm not going to.  I'm just going to sit back and see if he continues this pattern or if it was just that busy of a week that those were his only options at the time.  I know in one of our emails, he asked me how I make time for quality time, and my response was that I make time for whatever I feel is important.  Again, I don't think it's too much to ask for someone to do the same.

Bright Side: I'm not going to sit and overanalyze this situation.  It's still early in the game, and that could have been an off week.  I'm all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, but if he doesn't #EjectHimself, then I will politely do it for him...and not think twice about it!

#EjectYourself

I told you that I was going to do it, and I am determined to keep my word. On Sunday, a friend of mine and I were talking about guys and how they have become very lazy. I have 2 examples, one that I'll share now and another that I'll share tomorrow...


I was telling her about this guy that I met at a work event last year. I work in non-profit, so we get invited to parties for corporate sponsors all of the time. Well at this particular party, I didn't know anyone other than the lady who invited me (and I didn't know her very well). True to my social butterfly form, I found a lady and her husband and I ended up talking to them majority of the night. Well, the husband's co-worker decided to come over and sit with us. He started up a conversation with me and I entertained him…he was handsome, a little older (35ish), and could hold a decent conversation. We exchanged business cards, but he never called...and I didn't call him. A couple of weeks later, I saw him at another event for this company and he walked me to my car and he asked me for my cell. We conversed a couple of times after that, and one day after work we hung out and watched a Rocket's game. Now, every time that I would call him he would say that he was going to call me back, but didn't. So I just stopped calling. One February night, he sent me a random text about it being really cold outside... (keep in mind that I hadn't seen/talked to him since we hung out in December)


Him: Man, it got really cold outside. I need a warm bed.
Me: Yea, it did. You don't leave your heater on?
Him: I didn't realize that it was going to be this cold tonight.
Me: Well I guess you should start checking the weather before you leave home.
Him: I guesso...it's going to be so cold when I get home
Me: Yea...well get those blankets ready!
Him: no response


I was halfway offended that he expected me to invite him to my house. Just because we have had a handful of conversations and we've hung out once does not mean that I know you and that you should be expecting an invitation to cuddle. My friend and I were just talking about how this must have worked for him before for him to come at me like this.


I explained that I'm at the point where I don't have time for the "you need to chase me" game...either you're interested or you're not. If you are, then you need to show it, but if you want me to chase you, then you need to #ejectyourself from my dating life. It's JUST.THAT.SIMPLE.


I didn't see or hear from him again until this weekend when he came to volunteer at one of our work events. He went on & on about how we need to hang out and how we should meet up when I come back from Brazil to show him my pictures...in person. Yea...that's not going to work for me. I need consistency and that's not something that you're capable of, sir.


Bright Side: It feels so good to be able to know and be able to communicate to "potentials" what I want and what I'm not going to stand for. I don't think consistency and both parties showing their interest are unreasonable expectations to have. I think that I've finally found my voice!

Celebrate!

I know, I've been MIA for a little bit.  There has been so much going on these past two weeks with school, work, and personal things BUT I will be posting 2 more posts this week to make up for it!

I'm the type of person who belives in celebrations...if I could, I would celebrate the grass growing!  So, you know that I had to celebrate my 1 year of blogging.  A friend of mine is starting her own photography business and she is very good.  I did a "Bloggerversary" shoot with her almost two weeks ago and the pre-edit pics are FABULOUS!  She took so many pictures that it was hard to select just a few.  I will post the pre & post edit pics as soon as she gets them back to me with her logo on them.  In the meantime, if you would like to see some of her work, go to http://www.lydiasvizions.com/. 

Here's a preview of one of the pictures that she edited and posted to Facebook: