Good Afternoon! I hope the weather is as beautiful in your area as it is here. I had to do some work outside of the office today, and it took everything in me to make myself come back. I wish I was back in undergrad...the days when I could do whatever I wanted after 2pm.
So I told you all that I've started to try online dating and, at the recommendation of one of my guy friends, I even paid for an online dating site...but only for one month ( I need to see what my ROI is going to be like before I keep paying for this service). So anyway, a good friend and I were chatting last night and she was telling me that she joined another site (Yay! I'm not the only one...I have someone to compare notes with). It turns out that she went on her first date with one guy on Monday night and she had a great time. She said that a couple of her friends might know the guy, but she didn't want to go asking any questions about him because she wanted to form her own opinion of him (but she did verify the major facts with her good friend Google). To me, this is all well and good, until things didn't end in her favor and she told me who the guy was. Once she told me I told her to RUN FOR THE HILLS AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!!! I then filled her in on how when I first met the guy, he was so cool. He is the cousin of a guy that I dated off/on for about 12 years (yes, since I was a freshman in high school). I thought he (Charles) was trustworthy, nice, and just a genuinely good guy. Until...he kept asking me to hook him up with my friends WHILE he was still messing with the mother of his child. Then, the dung hit the fan when I found out that his cousin (Brandon) was doing the same while we were together. He had never stopped talking to either one of us (me or his BM). It wouldn't have been a bad thing for my friendship with Charles, but Charles had been encouraging me to try to work things out and would talk to both of us about making the relationship work. All the while, he knew that Brandon and his BM were still together. Yea...when Brandon was cut lose, Charles was let go too.
But anyway, I told her that and about him just recently lashing out at a friend of mine and her sister because she wasn't open to his advances (they knew his game already). Then on top of all of that...Charles was lying about his living arrangements as well. Now, I wouldn't have thrown so much shade at Charles if my friend wasn't so upset that after their meeting, Charles disappeared. I was trying to explain that this moment should have been a "Thank You Jesus" moment instead of a sad one. I couldn't help but wonder, if things had turned out the way that she wanted them to and never would have told me who the person was, could those pieces of information stopped her from experiencing future heartbreak or would they have prevented her from truly giving him a chance? I mean...people can change, right?
So what do you think...should you or shouldn't you ask mutual friends about potentials? Do you really want to know (if it's negative) and what are you going to do with the information once you have it?
Bright Side: I threw in a couple of jokes here and there and by the end of the night she was laughing and in good spirits.
So I told you all that I've started to try online dating and, at the recommendation of one of my guy friends, I even paid for an online dating site...but only for one month ( I need to see what my ROI is going to be like before I keep paying for this service). So anyway, a good friend and I were chatting last night and she was telling me that she joined another site (Yay! I'm not the only one...I have someone to compare notes with). It turns out that she went on her first date with one guy on Monday night and she had a great time. She said that a couple of her friends might know the guy, but she didn't want to go asking any questions about him because she wanted to form her own opinion of him (but she did verify the major facts with her good friend Google). To me, this is all well and good, until things didn't end in her favor and she told me who the guy was. Once she told me I told her to RUN FOR THE HILLS AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!!! I then filled her in on how when I first met the guy, he was so cool. He is the cousin of a guy that I dated off/on for about 12 years (yes, since I was a freshman in high school). I thought he (Charles) was trustworthy, nice, and just a genuinely good guy. Until...he kept asking me to hook him up with my friends WHILE he was still messing with the mother of his child. Then, the dung hit the fan when I found out that his cousin (Brandon) was doing the same while we were together. He had never stopped talking to either one of us (me or his BM). It wouldn't have been a bad thing for my friendship with Charles, but Charles had been encouraging me to try to work things out and would talk to both of us about making the relationship work. All the while, he knew that Brandon and his BM were still together. Yea...when Brandon was cut lose, Charles was let go too.
But anyway, I told her that and about him just recently lashing out at a friend of mine and her sister because she wasn't open to his advances (they knew his game already). Then on top of all of that...Charles was lying about his living arrangements as well. Now, I wouldn't have thrown so much shade at Charles if my friend wasn't so upset that after their meeting, Charles disappeared. I was trying to explain that this moment should have been a "Thank You Jesus" moment instead of a sad one. I couldn't help but wonder, if things had turned out the way that she wanted them to and never would have told me who the person was, could those pieces of information stopped her from experiencing future heartbreak or would they have prevented her from truly giving him a chance? I mean...people can change, right?
So what do you think...should you or shouldn't you ask mutual friends about potentials? Do you really want to know (if it's negative) and what are you going to do with the information once you have it?
Bright Side: I threw in a couple of jokes here and there and by the end of the night she was laughing and in good spirits.
I absolutely love it!! I think it can go both ways. Seeming as if Charles seemed like a good catch, your friend may not have wanted to know anything further until he divulged information but in the future I think your friend will be inquiring. Lesson learned :)
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