Thanks!

Greetings!  Today is my 27th birthday and I have been having a WONDERFUL time celebrating!  I had an excellent massage, lunch with my family, and dinner with my friends.  I just wanted to stop by today to share a piece of my special day with my blog readers because a part of the reason that I'm having such a wonderful birthday is because of you.  You have allowed me an outlet to share my thoughts and feeling so that I don't have to hold it all inside.  So on this day, I would like to say thanks for your support, your comments, and just for stopping by to read my random ramblings.  26 was a good year, but I'm sure that 27 will be even better and I look forward to sharing more of my life (good times & bad) with you!

Now I need to start packing for my road trip!  Have a great day!

Great Expectations

Good rainy afternoon!  I have to start off by saying that I did not want to write this post...at all!  Not because I don't enjoy blogging but because I didn't handle something the way that I was supposed to and by putting it on (virtual) paper it makes me a little (a lot) more accountable for my thoughts & actions.  I saw a small window of opportunity and I let my imagination and expectations run with it and the end result was no bueno.  This is what happened...

Remember the speed dating event that I went to last week?  Well my first round draft pick (tall, nice arms, older but not my mother's age, articulate, intelligent, attractive, doing something with his life, nice, opened doors, the list goes on...) was interested in me too so after we cleared up a little name confusion, we spoke and he asked me out that upcoming Saturday. The tricky part was that I didn't know what we were going to do.  I'm a planner (seriously...I live by my Blackberry calendar) so naturally I want to know time, activity, etc.  So when I ask him the details he just responded "I live life one day at a time but I promise we'll have fun"  Nice answer but that doesn't help me out at all!  How will I know how to dress or what time to be ready?  Well I do something completely out of character for me and just let it go...  Eventually, I ask about a time frame (because I'm not going to clear my entire day's calendar for a man that I don't know if I'm really going to like after a hour) and I get breakfast & we would go from there.  Cool! No specifics but I can work with that.  So I get the RD & the therapist (not a real therapist, but my friend who I call the therapist) in on it and we start putting together "my look" for the breakfast that Friday night.  Funny thing is that I haven't been this nervous for a first date in a long time. I go out but I usually already know that there won't be a future with the guy...they are ususally just practice dates or potential friends. 

The guy (let's call him Speedy) calls around 10 am to ask if we're still going out, directions to my place, etc.  When Speedy arrives I invite him in and we sit on the couch and talk for about 30-45 mins.  To me, that's a good sign!  We leave to go get breakfast and we have a good, playful conversation on the way there, at breakfast, and on the way to stop #2.  We get to stop #2 and we have a good time there too.  He's touchy-feely enough without overdoing it, he's competitive without being annoying, he makes me feel comfortable... Well we leave stop #2 and he's taking me back home and we start talking about scones.  He's never had them before (which should be a sin...the cinnamon scones at Au Bon Pain are SOOO good!!!) so I offer to let him taste them one day.  He asks when and I reply I guess the next time I see you, he follows up with when will that be and I respond when would you like it to be.  He says that he has to go into work for a little bit on Monday but since I'm off, he's like Monday.  For me, that's another good sign that he's already thinking about a second date before the first is over (any other time I would be thinking about the best way to say no without hurting anyone's feelings) We get back to my apartment and I take him to the pool area and we sit there and talk for another 30-45 minutes.  Light talk but being around him feel so comfortable like I've known him for longer.  When he leaves, he's like I'll put forth the effort and call you (because he mentioned that he doesn't really do that) and I'm like cool...another good sign until...

I sent a text that night because I forgot what his last name was and I asked for it because we were talking about adding each other on FB (Facebook).  (I was told later that I shouldn't have done that because that is information that I could have asked after he contacted me...my bad, I was being impatient.) Monday comes and I get up that morning to go get scones...I figure that I might as well get it out of the way now (me planning ahead) so I don't have to worry about it when he calls.  Yea...the thing about that is that he didn't call.  I sent a text asking about work and he said that it's been a pretty bad day and that nothing was going according to plan and then I ask if he was still planning to come by and he said that he was going to hit me up when he left, but guess what? Yep...he didn't.  It's now Thursday and I still haven't talked to or heard from him since my text on Monday.  So of course I start to get a little (a lot) disappointed because I expected him to call...from the interaction I thought that he was feeling me the way that I was feeling him but I guess not.  I mean...why wouldn't he call/text/send a smoke signal if he liked me?  I again put my expectations on someone else.  I reverted back to my old ways of expecting someone else to think, do, react, handle things the way that I wanted them to.  I know that it's only been a few days and anything can happen but yesterday was really bad for me.  Not because of this event but because I took this one event and lumped it with past events and it just wasn't a good night.  It was brought to my attention (again) that I need to let everything go and just live.  I'm missing out on a lot of other positive things that are going on in my life because I stopped to put so much (unnecessary) attention on this one bad event and it's only been a few days!  He might call and he might not, but my happiness should not ride on one man that I went out with one time just because he matched a lot of the requirements that I have set (even though it's been a while since someone has come close).  In the words of the therapist "It might be God stepping in because he might end up being a serial killer!" Lol That's a little extreme but still true.  I really need to work on being more patient with people and work on increasing my faith in God that he will work it out in whatever way that he sees fit.

Bright Side:  I have again made the decision to put more effort into the good things that are happening for me like getting my official acceptance letter into graduate school today...Yaaay! (I was so impatient that I just called the Department and asked if I had been accepted), my birthday that's coming up next week, and the family & great friends that I've been blessed to celebrate it with!!! 7 MORE DAYS!!!!

Just a little goes a long way...

Hope:
–noun
the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
–verb (used with object)

to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.
–verb (used without object)
to feel that something desired may happen

So if you're single (and want to be in a relationship), [I believe] hope is one of the most important things that you can have.  Actually...if you've ever wanted anything at any point in time, hope & faith go hand in hand.  You have to have faith that whatever you ask for or whatever you are hoping for, you will receive in due time.

A really good friend & I were talking one day and she expressed that she has been in a dating slump.  She admitted that she doesn't really get out at all because of work and her new exercise regimen, and that the dates that she goes on are double dates...with her couch & her tv.  I kept telling her that the only way to meet people is to get out of the house.  The only person that she was going to meet staying at home was the delivery takeout person! Well, when my cousin told me about an event that she was hosting, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to invite "Chelsea" out. We went to a speed dating event that my cousin, Orissa Bey of Possibilities Unlimited, was hosting.  Now, we went to her first speed dating event a couple of years ago but Chelsea just sat back and watched. [The only thing that happened for me was that a guy who I'd talked to before was trying to reconnect WHILE his current girlfriend was getting a drink at the bar.] Anyway, Chelsea agreed to meet me there and actually participate this time.

For me, I took the advice of my cousin [and Beyonce] and put my "Freak 'em" dress on for the night.  I was glad that I did because when I got to the venue, my eyes immediately lit up because there were about 15 guys placed at tables around the room (last time there were like 5) and most were handsome.  I get into the rotation, because Chelsea hadn't made it yet, and most of the conversations left me wanting to know more about the guy.  5 minutes started to feel like 2 seconds, and that's pretty rare.  After I have my "date" with the 6th guy, Chelsea walks in.  Every now and again I'll look up and see Chelsea talking to a guy and she actually looks like she's having a good time.  At the end of the last round, Chelsea and I meet up and she's SUPER excited.  She's so happy that she came.  In fact, she was SO pumped that she wanted to give her number to every guy that she talked to.  (After the ladies went on a "date" with the guy, we had to write their number on the back of a slip of paper with our name & phone number and/or email address and they would get it in their bag at the end of the night)

On Saturday, Chelsea BBM'd me to let me know that 2 of the guys had already contacted her.  She was really excited about the experience until they started to work her nerves a couple of days later with little things that they did.  We had a conversation today about the whole situation and for me it put it all into perspective.  She felt like she was on a super high from the experience that has started to wear off and one of the men that she met isn't really what she wants.  I tried to explain to her that it's okay to feel that way.  There is never a 100% (or even 75%) chance that you will find your mate at these events.  When I go to any event, I never know who I'll meet.  Sometimes it gets to be really discouraging when you meet or go out with different guys and they continue to not be a good match for you.  For me, what the Cupids Cousin and Possibilities Unlimited events do is give me opportunity and hope.  They give me the opportunity to meet someone that I normally wouldn't have the opportunity to meet and the hope that there is someone out there who is the ying to my yang, the end all be all, my last first kiss, etc. He might be there [at that event] or he might not be...regardless, it's a new experience and a great opportunity to get out there and meet new people.  When you go into these events with that mindset, you don't leave with any crushed expectations or disappointments...but you should leave with a little more hope.  Hope that the next time might be THAT time or hope that there are some good guys out there and yours is still out there looking for you. 
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**As for me, I cast my net pretty wide and picked about 7 guys that I was interested in getting to knowing a little more about (even one who came late and I didn't get the opportunity to talk to but was very handsome lol).  I saw my top pick later that night at my RD's birthday party and he seemed to be pretty interested in me as well.  We'll see if he becomes blog-worthy later on...but no expectations other than to get to know the guys that contact me and see what happens next... (See y'all...I'm growing!)  I left the event with such a positive energy high that I took with me into the birthday party.  I had much more of a good time and I was even approached a lot more!  It's amazing how people are drawn to a positive aura...but I'm sure the dress didn't hurt ;)