Greetings! I know it's been a while since I've posted but I just didn't know what I wanted to say or how I wanted to say it. I want to make sure that if I post something, it's because I really felt the need to share and not because I just wanted to have a post for that week. So #withthatbeingsaid I feel the need to share...
I have two friends and I somehow always get caught in the middle of their quarrels. As soon as one does something to the other, I get a notification. Now, I have a special relationship with both, but they are a lot closer. Now I know, from experience, that everyone's friendship is not the same. But, I also feel that you and your close friends should not question your friendship every month or every other month. It can get to be exhausting.
Everytime they come to me, seperately, I have to explain that part of being in a friendship/relationship is that you have to understand AND accept the other's faults/weaknesses. "You gotta take the good and the bad, the happy with the sad..." If you aren't willing to do that, then your friendship is destined for disaster. I also have to explain that no friendship will withstand the tests of time if you don't have a good foundation. You have to be able to communicate with that person AND be able to trust them with your thoughts, feelings, hurt, pain, etc. And that's their issue...one doesn't trust the other and the other doesn't know how to effectively communicate and she doesn't trust her. Another issue, is that one bases her interaction with the other on relationships that others have with their close friends. I tried to explain that the dynamics in everyone's friendships are not the same. For example, I don't tell my close friends everything because sometimes, with everything that's going on in my life, I just don't remember or I might not feel that it's important enough to interrupt their day. That doesn't mean that our friendship should be questioned, it just means that I might need to invest in some Gingko Biloba. I also have told both that sometimes if the bad times outweigh the good, you have to fall back and just love them from a distance and in a different way.
Bright Side: I don't know what else to say so now I just make sure that I'm just a listening ear and hope that in time, things will work out for the better.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thanks!
Greetings! Today is my 27th birthday and I have been having a WONDERFUL time celebrating! I had an excellent massage, lunch with my family, and dinner with my friends. I just wanted to stop by today to share a piece of my special day with my blog readers because a part of the reason that I'm having such a wonderful birthday is because of you. You have allowed me an outlet to share my thoughts and feeling so that I don't have to hold it all inside. So on this day, I would like to say thanks for your support, your comments, and just for stopping by to read my random ramblings. 26 was a good year, but I'm sure that 27 will be even better and I look forward to sharing more of my life (good times & bad) with you!
Now I need to start packing for my road trip! Have a great day!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Great Expectations
Good rainy afternoon! I have to start off by saying that I did not want to write this post...at all! Not because I don't enjoy blogging but because I didn't handle something the way that I was supposed to and by putting it on (virtual) paper it makes me a little (a lot) more accountable for my thoughts & actions. I saw a small window of opportunity and I let my imagination and expectations run with it and the end result was no bueno. This is what happened...
Remember the speed dating event that I went to last week? Well my first round draft pick (tall, nice arms, older but not my mother's age, articulate, intelligent, attractive, doing something with his life, nice, opened doors, the list goes on...) was interested in me too so after we cleared up a little name confusion, we spoke and he asked me out that upcoming Saturday. The tricky part was that I didn't know what we were going to do. I'm a planner (seriously...I live by my Blackberry calendar) so naturally I want to know time, activity, etc. So when I ask him the details he just responded "I live life one day at a time but I promise we'll have fun" Nice answer but that doesn't help me out at all! How will I know how to dress or what time to be ready? Well I do something completely out of character for me and just let it go... Eventually, I ask about a time frame (because I'm not going to clear my entire day's calendar for a man that I don't know if I'm really going to like after a hour) and I get breakfast & we would go from there. Cool! No specifics but I can work with that. So I get the RD & the therapist (not a real therapist, but my friend who I call the therapist) in on it and we start putting together "my look" for the breakfast that Friday night. Funny thing is that I haven't been this nervous for a first date in a long time. I go out but I usually already know that there won't be a future with the guy...they are ususally just practice dates or potential friends.
The guy (let's call him Speedy) calls around 10 am to ask if we're still going out, directions to my place, etc. When Speedy arrives I invite him in and we sit on the couch and talk for about 30-45 mins. To me, that's a good sign! We leave to go get breakfast and we have a good, playful conversation on the way there, at breakfast, and on the way to stop #2. We get to stop #2 and we have a good time there too. He's touchy-feely enough without overdoing it, he's competitive without being annoying, he makes me feel comfortable... Well we leave stop #2 and he's taking me back home and we start talking about scones. He's never had them before (which should be a sin...the cinnamon scones at Au Bon Pain are SOOO good!!!) so I offer to let him taste them one day. He asks when and I reply I guess the next time I see you, he follows up with when will that be and I respond when would you like it to be. He says that he has to go into work for a little bit on Monday but since I'm off, he's like Monday. For me, that's another good sign that he's already thinking about a second date before the first is over (any other time I would be thinking about the best way to say no without hurting anyone's feelings) We get back to my apartment and I take him to the pool area and we sit there and talk for another 30-45 minutes. Light talk but being around him feel so comfortable like I've known him for longer. When he leaves, he's like I'll put forth the effort and call you (because he mentioned that he doesn't really do that) and I'm like cool...another good sign until...
I sent a text that night because I forgot what his last name was and I asked for it because we were talking about adding each other on FB (Facebook). (I was told later that I shouldn't have done that because that is information that I could have asked after he contacted me...my bad, I was being impatient.) Monday comes and I get up that morning to go get scones...I figure that I might as well get it out of the way now (me planning ahead) so I don't have to worry about it when he calls. Yea...the thing about that is that he didn't call. I sent a text asking about work and he said that it's been a pretty bad day and that nothing was going according to plan and then I ask if he was still planning to come by and he said that he was going to hit me up when he left, but guess what? Yep...he didn't. It's now Thursday and I still haven't talked to or heard from him since my text on Monday. So of course I start to get a little (a lot) disappointed because I expected him to call...from the interaction I thought that he was feeling me the way that I was feeling him but I guess not. I mean...why wouldn't he call/text/send a smoke signal if he liked me? I again put my expectations on someone else. I reverted back to my old ways of expecting someone else to think, do, react, handle things the way that I wanted them to. I know that it's only been a few days and anything can happen but yesterday was really bad for me. Not because of this event but because I took this one event and lumped it with past events and it just wasn't a good night. It was brought to my attention (again) that I need to let everything go and just live. I'm missing out on a lot of other positive things that are going on in my life because I stopped to put so much (unnecessary) attention on this one bad event and it's only been a few days! He might call and he might not, but my happiness should not ride on one man that I went out with one time just because he matched a lot of the requirements that I have set (even though it's been a while since someone has come close). In the words of the therapist "It might be God stepping in because he might end up being a serial killer!" Lol That's a little extreme but still true. I really need to work on being more patient with people and work on increasing my faith in God that he will work it out in whatever way that he sees fit.
Bright Side: I have again made the decision to put more effort into the good things that are happening for me like getting my official acceptance letter into graduate school today...Yaaay! (I was so impatient that I just called the Department and asked if I had been accepted), my birthday that's coming up next week, and the family & great friends that I've been blessed to celebrate it with!!! 7 MORE DAYS!!!!
Remember the speed dating event that I went to last week? Well my first round draft pick (tall, nice arms, older but not my mother's age, articulate, intelligent, attractive, doing something with his life, nice, opened doors, the list goes on...) was interested in me too so after we cleared up a little name confusion, we spoke and he asked me out that upcoming Saturday. The tricky part was that I didn't know what we were going to do. I'm a planner (seriously...I live by my Blackberry calendar) so naturally I want to know time, activity, etc. So when I ask him the details he just responded "I live life one day at a time but I promise we'll have fun" Nice answer but that doesn't help me out at all! How will I know how to dress or what time to be ready? Well I do something completely out of character for me and just let it go... Eventually, I ask about a time frame (because I'm not going to clear my entire day's calendar for a man that I don't know if I'm really going to like after a hour) and I get breakfast & we would go from there. Cool! No specifics but I can work with that. So I get the RD & the therapist (not a real therapist, but my friend who I call the therapist) in on it and we start putting together "my look" for the breakfast that Friday night. Funny thing is that I haven't been this nervous for a first date in a long time. I go out but I usually already know that there won't be a future with the guy...they are ususally just practice dates or potential friends.
The guy (let's call him Speedy) calls around 10 am to ask if we're still going out, directions to my place, etc. When Speedy arrives I invite him in and we sit on the couch and talk for about 30-45 mins. To me, that's a good sign! We leave to go get breakfast and we have a good, playful conversation on the way there, at breakfast, and on the way to stop #2. We get to stop #2 and we have a good time there too. He's touchy-feely enough without overdoing it, he's competitive without being annoying, he makes me feel comfortable... Well we leave stop #2 and he's taking me back home and we start talking about scones. He's never had them before (which should be a sin...the cinnamon scones at Au Bon Pain are SOOO good!!!) so I offer to let him taste them one day. He asks when and I reply I guess the next time I see you, he follows up with when will that be and I respond when would you like it to be. He says that he has to go into work for a little bit on Monday but since I'm off, he's like Monday. For me, that's another good sign that he's already thinking about a second date before the first is over (any other time I would be thinking about the best way to say no without hurting anyone's feelings) We get back to my apartment and I take him to the pool area and we sit there and talk for another 30-45 minutes. Light talk but being around him feel so comfortable like I've known him for longer. When he leaves, he's like I'll put forth the effort and call you (because he mentioned that he doesn't really do that) and I'm like cool...another good sign until...
I sent a text that night because I forgot what his last name was and I asked for it because we were talking about adding each other on FB (Facebook). (I was told later that I shouldn't have done that because that is information that I could have asked after he contacted me...my bad, I was being impatient.) Monday comes and I get up that morning to go get scones...I figure that I might as well get it out of the way now (me planning ahead) so I don't have to worry about it when he calls. Yea...the thing about that is that he didn't call. I sent a text asking about work and he said that it's been a pretty bad day and that nothing was going according to plan and then I ask if he was still planning to come by and he said that he was going to hit me up when he left, but guess what? Yep...he didn't. It's now Thursday and I still haven't talked to or heard from him since my text on Monday. So of course I start to get a little (a lot) disappointed because I expected him to call...from the interaction I thought that he was feeling me the way that I was feeling him but I guess not. I mean...why wouldn't he call/text/send a smoke signal if he liked me? I again put my expectations on someone else. I reverted back to my old ways of expecting someone else to think, do, react, handle things the way that I wanted them to. I know that it's only been a few days and anything can happen but yesterday was really bad for me. Not because of this event but because I took this one event and lumped it with past events and it just wasn't a good night. It was brought to my attention (again) that I need to let everything go and just live. I'm missing out on a lot of other positive things that are going on in my life because I stopped to put so much (unnecessary) attention on this one bad event and it's only been a few days! He might call and he might not, but my happiness should not ride on one man that I went out with one time just because he matched a lot of the requirements that I have set (even though it's been a while since someone has come close). In the words of the therapist "It might be God stepping in because he might end up being a serial killer!" Lol That's a little extreme but still true. I really need to work on being more patient with people and work on increasing my faith in God that he will work it out in whatever way that he sees fit.
Bright Side: I have again made the decision to put more effort into the good things that are happening for me like getting my official acceptance letter into graduate school today...Yaaay! (I was so impatient that I just called the Department and asked if I had been accepted), my birthday that's coming up next week, and the family & great friends that I've been blessed to celebrate it with!!! 7 MORE DAYS!!!!
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